Cosmic Slap

Not to be superstitious but I was thinking how funny that a month and a half ago I was saying how well June was treating me so far. Maybe that qualifies as the Gemini cycle, when Cancer came I was struck by Lucius and got my heart broken and now during the Leo cycle my whole world is crumbling down, fast. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with astrology at all, but I'm still counting my luck to change for the better in a month. What else could happen? Me getting an incurable disease while not having health insurance? My apartment catching on fire and I have to live on the street?

My positive side would say that things happen for a reason. It might have been wrong for me to have settled in a non-profit environment for so long without any thoughts or goals or any ambition at all for my career. If I have to be positive, maybe the ongoing change is a cosmic slap in the face for me to be better and gain better control at my life in the long run. (Control? God forbid) But honestly, the cosmic slap in my face is smarting like hell.

I feel like going to the bookstore and getting myself a self-help book on relationship. Not to give it out on the first date? How do I find good people and make new friends? Somehow lately all the folks who had slept with me wants to be just friends... Is there something wrong with me? I've even had people who claimed that I'm the best they've ever had... Or is that the problem? I realized right now that I need as much friends as I can get (minus a few psychopaths or flakes of course) but it's exhausting. I guess there's no fast way to make friends.

So how many more lessons are there to learn until the cosmic let me be again? And what kind of person will I become at the end of the tunnel? I can't wait to find out... More like I can't wait to find a job actually.

Oh by the way, will those two mofo reading this in Philly start speaking up? I mean if you're really that interested in my life, you might as well be in it. Unless you're my exboyfriend or a stalker type, of course.