The Cheese-Filled Day, Pt. 1

>> Sunday, August 31, 2008

8:30am - Having been asked to be one of the best men and I'd be picked up at 9:30am, I begrudgingly left the warmth of my bed. Why me? SV said A (the groom) doesn't have much single friends, him and I are probably it. We asked around and nobody wants to participate in the embarrassing bride receiving ceremony and I can understand why. But poor schmuck.

9:30am - I'm ready to go, SV called and said he won't be able to pick me up until an hour later and apologized. I said "It's not my wedding, you don't need to apologize to me." I took off my jacket and start browsing for porn.

10:30am - Finally, SV picked me up and we are heading to the A's place. SV told me that he want us to color coordinate and asked me to wear my red shirt and a silver tie. I did but apparently he changed his mind, so I'm the only one looking like a triad member. Down the street a lady is hanging her sheets to air dry in the middle of the street, blocking the whole block. Maybe she's crazy.

11:00am - At A's place. A got a few married friends to help out, we drove over to Y's place to "kidnap" the bride. I just realized that SV had shaved his goatee, not good, his face needs it.

11:15am - We got there, the photographers asked us to back out and drive in again so they can shoot again. They have us waved like we were all hyper and crazy while yelling "Hands higher" and "More action". The crazy Chinese photographer are the pits of the Asian Tourist Syndrome. I thought they will do it paparazzi style and capture a moment, but no, we have to act them all out like some sort of play. It's too contrive for my taste.

11:25am - The games have commenced. In the Chinese tradition, it is the bridesmaids' duty to play hard to get. The groom and his men needs to perform tasks, give money and pretty beg for them to release the bride. The bridesmaids will try to embarrass the groom as much as possible, I've heard horror stories about eating disgusting things or wasabi straight from the tube to show your sincerity, sing stupid songs, answering questions that other people have no business knowing. We have prepared red envelopes with money in them to bribe the girls, who are all behind the closed gate, but we are meant to negotiate the price down.

11:35am - SV is sweating like a madmen, partly because he doesn't know how to speak Chinese clear enough to negotiate anything. The girls had received some money and now we have to do push-ups one by one. Only 10 per person and it seems incredibly easy, the groom did it, SV and another best man did it, it comes to my turn and I don't have much upper body strength. The girls are complaining how I don't lie all the way down. One of them opened the gate, maybe she was going to push me down, but I caught the gate with my left hand and yanked it open. The girls screamed and receded to the second floor where they kept the bride. We marched in, I got one for the boys.

11:40am - All there's left between the groom and the bride was a wooden door. And the girls didn't even close it they just stood before it like we couldn't get passed them. Amateurs. They wanted the groom to sing songs until they are satisfied enough to let us in. What a joke. A few of us just rammed, and we got in. They stood aside and complaint about non-existing bruises. All the sudden, I have became the brute, the aggressor, the Mob Boss.

12:15pm - We got back to A's house with the bride. They did the tea ceremony for Y's parents at Y's house and they're doing the same for A's parents at A's house. We ate some stuff that A's family prepared and started playing Mahjong. To make the bridesmaids happier, we have given them another set of red envelopes. That would teach them to be such amateurs. All the sudden 5 of the 8 bridesmaid are playing Mahjong with little old me and I felt immensely popular. (I have to agree that there were not much eye candies amongst the groomsmen.)

2:15pm - We headed out to the art museum to take more pictures and the photographers are making us do more cheesy poses. Four girls were in the back of SV's huge Jeep in skimpy dresses. I'm helping them get in and get out of the car, carrying their bags. All the sudden my outfit made sense, not only was I the Mob Boss, I was also the Pimp.

2:30pm - "Move in slow motion", "carry that bag for me", if the photographers weren't Y's uncles I would have punched them until they see stars. But then I'm there to help, even though it was 90 degrees out there and everybody were sweating like hell, we were just there to help and play extras. "Put out your hands and say Tada", "Put out your hands and form a bridge so the bride and groom can go underneath them", all the sudden I realized I am no Pimp, I'm just a clown performing cheesy acts. I hope my intolerance for cheese don't come across in my pictures.

4:00pm - Back in the car, SV's dropping me home so I can take a shower and change into something more toned down for the banquet. I think I'll save my silver tie until I need to scare some kids straight next time.

YvesPaul working the Triad look.


Weekend Meme: Smut Meme

>> Saturday, August 30, 2008

Dug this up from Kyle's old blog Atomic Pop, the sexual tone of this blog might have increased a bit, since I have a lot of free time on my hand. My new straight friends A & Y, are having their traditional Chinese wedding ceremony done today and I've been selected to be one of the best men. As like most other Chinese, they didn't register anywhere, so I'm thinking of getting them some sex toys as part of their wedding gifts. Nothing too scary, just a blindfold, some restraints and a bottle of whipped cream. Y doesn't like chocolate much.

1. chocolate or whipped cream: Um... chocolate for me, high calories but whipped cream doesn't hang on as good as chocolate. lol.

2. leather or pvc: Definitely leather, I love the intoxicating smell and PVC doesn't breath at all. And I hate the smothering feeling and the sweat not being able to go anywhere.

3. outdoor sex or indoor sex: I don't think I've ever tried outdoor sex and I don't think I have the urge to try it.

4. in the jacuzzi or in bed? Never tried the jacuzzi, so I wouldn't know. I think I like the bed better though.

5. bad sex or no sex: Um... how bad are we talking about? I mean how bad could it be? No sex is kinda harsh, no?

6. dominate or be dominated: Be dominated, dominate can be fun too but then I'm a pleaser.

7. thigh highs or bodystocking: What? Neither... Well, I can see myself wearing boots more than stocking.

8. fast or slow: Both, that's skill. The perfect sex usually starts slow and then speeds up.

9. rough or gentle: It's like fast or slow. You would want a mixture or both, maybe not in the same session but the perfect lover should be able to do both.

10. bite or suck: Are we talking about nipples? Then both, well I agree with Kyle and say nibble.

11. role play or reality: Reality, role play is good every now and then but it's too much work.

12. dirty talking or dirty talking to: Dirty talking to, love a verbal partner.

13. edible panties or no panties: No undies, I don't need a snack, there's plenty other things to keep my mouth busy as it is.

14. spanking paddle or bare-handed: If I have to choose, it would have to be bare-handed, although It doesn't interest me much. Unless my partner is into receiving, then it's his choice.

15. landing strip or kojak: I had to google who Kojak was. Assuming we are talking about pubes, it doesn't really matter much to me. Just don't come with a rainforest with animals and snakes lying around.

16. multiple sessions or one good fuck: Multiple sessions. That's a no-brainer.

17. moaning or screaming: Moaning, screaming is a bit hostile isn't it?

18. older men or young men: Both. All of them. Now!

19. threeway or no way: Threeway! Forgies! Fun is fun. I'm capable of being monogamous, but I can be into polyamory.

20. swing or so swinging: Swing as in swingers? I don't know never tried. I never tried the other kinda swing either, so again, I don't know.


Wish you are having a fun-filled weekend!


When Closure Needs To Be Slammed Shut

>> Friday, August 29, 2008

I was just thinking how good I am at writing people off of my life the other day. I've read during one of my psychology class that there are 6 factors in creating and maintaining a relationships.

- Physical Proximity: You can't build a relationship if you can't find ways to be close to that person.

- Similarity: You can't build a relationship if you don't have anything in common with that person. (That might include attitudes, interests, background, personality, values, social skills, social status and beliefs)

- Familiarity: You can't build a relationship if you don't see that person often enough or if you don't know anything about them.

- Reciprocity: You can't build a relationship if the person will not participate in the building.

- Physical Attractiveness: You can't build a relationship if the person repulse you physically.

- Benefits: You can't build a relationship with a person if you don't feel positive about it.

You'd be surpised on how easy it is to unbuild an existing relationship. Take my work for instance, once I've left the organization I've managed not to keep in contact with everyone that I used to deal with on a daily basis. Exboyfriends, friends with benefits, annoying teasers who's taken but still flirts like crazy and who'll sleep with you when their boyfriends are not around but completely refuse any of your advances when their boyfriends are and swear that they really like you a lot and want you to be their friends - just friends. All I had to do was not to contact them and presto, I don't have to deal with them ever again. Well, at least that's what I think. Every now and then there are those who persist.

Crazy 7 year long stlaker exboyfriend texting: "How could you live with yourself knowing how much I loved you." Um bitch, you took advantage of me while blaming your problems on everyone else, on top of that you made me miserable and I think you still owe me money, how could YOU live with YOURself? We went out for 3 years and I have not contacted him since we broke up, but the nut case is still leaving me angry messages when he's drunk from time to time.

Macho and Calico Guy, flings from a year ago are resurfacing. Both nice guys, both I can't see myself being with romantically. I can see they really want to pursue something but I don't think we are compatible enough, and say I don't want what I can have but I've been there done that and it didn't work. Same goes to Medic Guy, I've gotten a few emails and phone calls lately, but I've tried and didn't work. We broke up 5 times in 3 months, isn't that enough?

It's not like I really want to write them off my life. My problem is that I don't know how to transform an used-to-be sex buddy into a just-friend. I don't think it's possible and I feel awkward. Maybe I should break out of my mold.

Would gay men have any friends if they ignore everyone they had sex with?


Music Invasion: Jennifer Hudson's "Spotlight"

>> Thursday, August 28, 2008

A few months ago there was a sneak peek of Jennifer Hudson's upcoming album cover and a controversy followed on whether they have photoshopped her picture down to a size that's more pleasing to the general population or at least to the records executive. It reminds me of the Margaret Cho story in which her body was being criticized and she was on all kind of diet, her weight go up and down and her self-confidence get shattered. Hopefully, she's not going through that.

I hung out at the bar Tuesday night and they were playing this latest video from Jennifer and she looks good. Not that I didn't like her before, her personality outweighs her body type. She does look like she slimmed down a lot, but I didn't think it was necessary nor did I felt that Missy Elliot needed to lose weight, but if it makes them feels better than I guess it's ok.

Love her voice, I think after her performance in Dreamgirls, a lot of us gays are anticipating her album. Co-produced by NeYo, you can really hear his beats in this song. Not extremely catchy, but it's still a pretty nice song. Can't wait for the album to come out on September 30.

Are you a man who loves, cherishes and cares for me?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Are you a guard in a prison, maximum security?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Do we stay home all the time cuz you want me to yourself?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Or am I locked away, had a feeling I’d find someone else
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?

Well, I don’t like living under your spotlight
Just because you think I might find somebody worthy
Well, I don’t like living under your spotlight
Baby if you treat me right, you won’t have to worry

Is this relationship fulfilling your needs as well as mine
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
Or is this just my sentence, am I doing time?
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
If this is love, real, real love, then I’m staying no doubt
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?
But if I’m just your prisoner, then I’m busting out
Is that true? Is that true? Is that true?


Oh, you oughta be ashamed of yourself
What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Loving me, loving me so wrong.
Baby, all I do is try
To show you that you’re my one and only guy
No matter who may come along
Open your eyes cuz baby I don’t lie

(Chorus x2)



>> Wednesday, August 27, 2008

It seems that I've got this reputation in the building I live in. One online friend just told me that he knows someone who lives in my building and his impression of me is "That stud who brings people back to his place all the time." Funny, I'm sure my friend used the word "stud" to be nice, the guy probably used the word "whore" instead. What is he talking about anyway? I didn't think I was that promiscuous, although I seldom go out if I do meet someone, I prefer the comfort of my own home and I dislike the walk of shame. But seriously I hook up once a week or less in average and that's kinda pitiful for a gay man. It's not like I don't know the means of hooking up, going to bars, going online, etc... But I don't know how to cruise online, at the bars or on the streets, I'm practically useless. When friends tell me their sexual conquest, I'm surprised and intrigued, jealous but at the same time studious on the hows. Although that bizarre reputation of mine is fascinating, maybe he had mistaken me with someone else, or maybe he thought Medic Guy was a trick, NeighborBear and the one lived below me thought I was straight for the longest time.

Another building complaint is that my kitchen ceiling is leaking water now, I have to put a bucket around to collect the water. It happens whenever the person two floors above me wash her dishes. Disgusting. And it makes my apartment smell, I thought it was because I made shrimps the other day and it might be my trash, but I've taken the trash out and the place still smells, not that bad, but I can still detect it. I've been spraying my Polo Blue everywhere in hopes to get rid of the smell but it didn't help much.

Other than that, it seems like someone had stolen my credit card number and used it around Home Depot and a Supermarket far away from me. My credit card company called, they've caught it but had to cancel my credit card. I think I need to get a shredder for my financial trash and watch where I use my credit card. It's not the first time it happened to me. Since I don't have to swallow the expenses, it's mostly just the inconvenience of waiting for the brand new card and change all my online shopping account to the new number.

I wonder if all these annoyance or bad luck can be trace back to me. I brought the guys home, I chose to live here, I didn't shred my bills when I throw them away. I also stayed at my job all those years and didn't look around, I'm too anti-scoial to make friends or hook up and I fall in love too easily and get my heart broken time after time. My crazy ex is also texting me to taunt me even after years of excommunication of my part. Maybe I can't blame anything on anyone but me.

Well, life is actually not that bad. I'm in perfect health. My laptop is working fine. And I have a few leads to prospective jobs. Not a single interview yet, but since my friends are both insiders, it's very possible that I could get a job soon and I'm still officially on vacation. Hopefully things will look up. (Cross my fingers)


Movie Review: The House Bunny

>> Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I'm not exactly ashamed that I was looking forward to see this movie. Sure, it looks cheesy, cliche and stereotypical, maybe you can even call it misogynistic but it looks funny and I really need something unpretentious to make me laugh with some brainless humor and The House Bunny delivered.

Anna Faris of Scary Movie fame plays Shelley, a cheerful optimistic playboy bunny who due to some mishaps got kicked out of the playboy mansion. Without any common sense after living in lalaland for all those years, she stumbled into an university campus and got drawn to the fun-loving atmosphere of sorority houses. Since Shelley does not have a place to live or a way to support herself, she applied to be the house mother of a soon-to-be-closed sorority house and help the misfits in the house and turn their sorority around.

It's not much of a story and everything is pretty much predictable. Regular frat house movie plot but there's something about the movie that's kinda refreshing. Maybe it's the way that Shelley took what she learned in the playboy mansion and applying them into the sorority setting, maybe it's the way she portrays a naive 20 something or maybe she's just likable but it's generally pleasing.

Other than a few lengthy cameo from Hugh Heffner and his bunnies, young Hollywood is very well represented in the movie as well. Tom Hanks' son Colin Hanks plays Shelley's love interest with a heart of gold Oliver. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughter Rumer plays a nerdy girl with full body braces who had a Forrest Gump moment. American Idol winner Katherine McPhee plays a pregnant girl who's totally hilarious. Not as famous but talented Dana Goodman plays a big set hunchback manly Russian girl who's equally if not more so funny. Emma Stone is also quite delightful.

The movie didn't try to be anything it's not, it's a hearty good laugh and the cheese can be spread with a butter knife, but it's expected. Way better than Hamlet 2 in my point of view. C+


2008 Olympics Closings

>> Monday, August 25, 2008

It's finally over.

I think 16 days is just right for an affair with the Olympics, I mean how long is a summer fling suppose to last anyway? Any more of it and it'll start getting weary. I have to say I have never enjoyed myself so much watching it though.

We have had our fun, Michael Phelps is probably the biggest star this time around getting his eight golds. His mom also became a star, starring at a Johnson commercial now. Unfortunately, the Chinese lost the gold medal of the 10M diving event but cute Australian gay boy Matthew Mitcham took it, which is equally as good.

The boyfriend is quite cute.

Although the United States has gotten the most medals, China has gotten the most gold, so I guess both of them had achieved their goals. I'm surprised that no matter how long the Chinese has been living in whatever country, or even the ones born in foreign countries will still root for team China. Case and point my new found Chinese friends, fans of female beach volleyball and volleyball, screaming and yelling at the TV for the Chinese to win. Although if you've told me that the Chinese are good at sports when I was growing up I would have laughed. Too bad they lost in the volleyballs, but we still had a great time watching the matches.

There seems to have a lost of mishap at this Olympics. Expected stars like Chinese hurdler Liu Xiang pulled out of the finals because of his achilles injury. American hurdler Lolo Jones (love that name), fail to clear her hurdles and lost. There were also a lot of falling down from the gymnastic floors. I did enjoy watching the various hunky male gymnasts and divers though. Oh and a few volleyball players are amazingly hot. (Unlike divers and gymnasts, they are tall, really tall and I have a weak spot for tall guys.)

Lolo had quite the 'tude before she tripped, maybe she should have lost her shades?

I was also surprised to see how many Chinese coaches are coaching in other countries. Shawn Johnson's coach Liang Chow moved from China to West Des Moines, Iowa to open up a gymnastics and dance institute where he met Shawn. (West Des Moines? Really?) US Olympics female volleyball coach is none other than Lang Ping, the star of the Chinese Olympics team back in the 80s, I remember watching her play growing up. (Sell Out!) I was joking with some friends that the Chinese never 'buy' athletes and coaches from other countries, which my friends replied "That's because we have 1.3 billion people." But apparently we were all wrong, we did hire a Russian coach for the Chinese rhythmic gymnastic team who earned us silvers.

I'm pretty sure it was a very good thing for the Chinese to have hosted the Olympics. At least they tried to make everything more presentable. They forced the whole city to learned some English, stopped the factory for two years to halt the air pollution. The Chinese and their will to save face must have built and implemented tons of new things. Although I have to wonder what will happen to the water cube or the bird's nest now that the whole thing is over. Are they gonna turn them into amusement parks?

Now that it's over, I'm dreading the political coverage of the coming presidential elections. All the BS will start blowing on every channel. Can't wait for November.

And yes Jackie Chan is also a singer in China, I promise not to laugh at your Paris Hilton or your George Bush, if you don't laugh at Jackie Chan. (Oops, too late.)


Weekend Meme: Omnivore's 100 Meme

>> Sunday, August 24, 2008

I stole this one from Meme Central - My 2 Cents again. In the rate that the interesting meme are posted over there, I could do them once a week for years, so I thought I'd double it up this week. At the dawn of my diet, starting Monday, I thought I'd just review the food that I've eaten. I mean can I not be open to different food and get to my size? Right!

This meme is originated from Andrew at Very Good Taste, you can find links to the food items at his site and here are the rules:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare - I don't think I'll ever have that again though.
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
- Depends... I still like certain Korean and Argentinean blood sausages.
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
- This comes as the set soup of every prix fixe meals in Hong Kong style steakhouses.
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
- Love, MSG and all it's glory. Even though I can't breath afterwards but I'd still woof it down.
13. PB&J sandwich - Had it but I don't get it.
14. Aloo gobi - How can you find a husband if you can't make a good aloo gobi?
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle - not the whole thing, you know how expensive these things are?
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
- I think that was my second ice cream flavor ever, my first is coconut.
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
- Extremely high in cholesterol but I still love.
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese

26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava

30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl

33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float

36. Cognac with a fat cigar - At least not the cigar part.
37. Clotted cream tea - I've had high tea a few times, but I've never checked whether the cream was clotted.
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
- Love Oxtail, it's a very British thing I think. We grew up eating oxtail stew with potatoes and carrots, in fact I think that will be my last meal before my diet.
41. Curried goat - I might have, but I don't quite remember.
42. Whole insects - Knowing the Chinese restaurants and my grandma, I'm sure I have had a few small ones without me noticing.
43. Phall
44. Goat’s milk - Might have, but I don't quite remember.
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
- Pure heaven!
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
- My mom loves it with alcohol, I arbor these. Tasted like shit!
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
- The Chinese love these and see it as one of the banquet food just like shark fins, but it's not that impressive for me.
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal

56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV - How would you know it's above 8% ABV? I'm clueless when it comes to beer.
59. Poutine - I would love to try this one.
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads

63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
- Let's try changing the 'or' to an 'and'.
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
- Not together, I don't think.
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill - Now this is just wrong, you're not naming a particular animal, but a way they died. So it's a lifestyle that you're asking and not a taste. Unless you count roadkill as a way of cooking.
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
- I've got to have ate one before, right?
78. Snail - I caught them myself at my uncle's ranch in south of France and my aunt baked it for us.
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky

84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef - I bought them a few times at Mitsuwa in Edgewater, NJ. It's a lot sweeter and tenderer. I liked it, but not enough to pay that much in a regular basis.
86. Hare - Not prefered food, for I do like my bunny rabbits.
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
- It's yummy as satay on a stick.
90. Criollo chocolate - I've got to have had some, right? I'm not sure though.
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab

93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox

97. Lobster Thermidor - I think it's popularized in Asia, we called it cheese baked lobster but I'm not sure.
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
- I didn't know how to appreciate it. I do love my cream and sugar.
100. Snake - Snake banquets are quite common in Hong Kong, although I'm so scared of snakes that I couldn't sit still in one of these banquets. I was afraid that the snakes might gone loose.

I think I did pretty good, 75/100 and I'm only reluctant about 2 out of the remaining 25. How about you?


Music Invasion: David Choi's "How Deep Is Your Love"

>> Saturday, August 23, 2008

I guess David Choi is one of the young'uns that landed YouTube stardom, my friend turned me onto him a few years back and he does have a very soothing voice. His catch is that he doesn't smile in any of his video and he does write his own music sometimes, and his friends sometimes appear in his video shirtless and they are disturbing and hot at the same time.

I think this one is my favorite of David's so far, of course if I want to pick it apart, I could. (Like the awkward pausing transition at the 2:00 to 2:04 mark, but why would I want to nitpick? lol) Maybe I'm moody today and easily touched. You don't see Asian singers out there everyday, I think the general market would deem them unmarketable, so I give props to David for being creative and gain popularity in alternative media channels. (I wonder how he'll feel showing up at a gay-related website, he clearly loves the ladies. lol)

How Deep is Your Love?

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love
Then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?

How deep, how deep is your love
I really need to learn
'Coz we're living in a world of fools
Breakin’ us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour
You're my savior when I fall
And you may not feel I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do

And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?
How deep, how deep is your love
I really need to learn
'Coz we're living in a world of fools
Breakin’ us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

La, la, la, la, la...


Listening back to BeeGees' version it is really "I really need to LEARN.", I always thought it was "I really need to KNOW", because it rhymes with SHOW. That irritates me.


Weekend Meme: Random Playlist Lyrics Meme

Alright, I think I got this by digging through Chris' My 2 Cents, I'm about to deem that guy the Meme King, since his meme category is so extensive. This one interest me the most. As I've stated multiple times, I love music. But I think I'll do very bad at games like "Don't forget the lyrics." I'm often surprised at what I was singing after reading the actual lyrics of the songs. Oh well.

These are the rules:

1. Put your mp3 player or music player on your computer on random.
2. Post the first four lines from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (Skip repeat artists).
3. Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
4. Leave your guesses in the comments. Some will be super easy, but try not to cheat by Googling.

From my 4000+ songs iPod, these are the first 20 which are not Chinese and not from any comedian acts or musicals.

Here goes:

1. It ain't 5-0 (naw)
That's the funk yo' (yeah)
Don't act like you didn't know (nuh)
It's just the way it goes (yeah)

2. You are a getaway car, a rush of blood to the head
But me, I'm just the covers on top of your bed
You steer away in a rear view mirror, you make my head swim
I keep you warm and won't ask you where you've been

3. I know this will be
Something I remember in my head (something I remember)
Sharp words push me back
Hanging on to anything I can (anything I can)

4. There was a garden
In the beginning
Before the fall
Before Genesis

5. Ain't gonna be no eyes to make me turn away
Ain't gonna be no kiss to make me contemplate
Walking out the door
And never coming back no more

6. Humdi Lila Allah Jehova
Yahweh Dios Ma'ad Jah
Rastafara fyah
Dance, sex, music, hip-hop

7. Clap ya hands everybody
If you got what it takes
I'm Timbo and I want you to know
That these are the brakes

8. It's been a long time
Since we started
And all of the hurting we've been through
I find that I'm still in love with you

9. Get over the sorrow, girl
The world is always going to be made of this
You can't trust in it
Unless you breathe in bravely

10. (Catch me, catch me I'm falling, I'm falling in love with you)
There ain't nothing I can do, I'm way too deep with you
(Catch me, catch me I'm falling, I'm falling in love with you)
I've only got my heart to lose, should I be scared of you?

11. Oh brother I can't, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you
Cos I don't know what to do
Oh brother I can't believe it's true

12. Just when you think you know the direction of the wind
You find it's only taken over you
And then before you know you're at a different place
A place you do not even recognize

13. You had plenty money in 1941
You lost it all and then where you run?
Why don't you do right
Like some other men do?

14. To just act like we never were
To come around and not show hurt
How dare we greet by shaking hands
Just months ago I was your man {was your man}

15. Suavemente
Que quiero sentir tu labios
Besandome otra vez

16. I need a gun to keep myself among from harm
The poor people are burning in the sun
But they ain't got a chance
They ain't got a chance

17. There's maybe a way I can tell you
'Cos with everyday things continue
To get more compromised,
So who will fantasize a new generation politicised?

18. Oh do you remember (ooh)
When the family was everything? (ooh)
Oh do you remember? (ooh)
It was so long ago and so much has changed (ooh)

19. I would do anything
Anything you say
If you would just be mine
What more, what more can I say?

20. There's no need to argue anymore
I gave all I could but it left me so sore
And the thing that makes me mad
Is the one thing that I had

Have fun and have a great weekend! I'll reveal the answers on Tuesday.


The Ultimate Drag Show

>> Friday, August 22, 2008

Due to a Mahjong game on Wednesday and last night's movie, I wasn't able to watch Project Runway until very late last night. Yeah, I taped it. I'm such a dork fan that I have to avoid TLo's Project Rungay website, so I don't see the costumes and the results. I'm glad I've taped it though because it is, like, the best episode ever!

I doubt that anyone wouldn't know what Project Runway is, it's the crown jewel of Bravo's attempt to turning itself into a gay channel and I think I've mentioned the show on my blog several times. A bunch of fashion designers doing challenges in hope to get a million dollars to start their own line. This week's challenge is to design for drag queens! (Come on, you've got to love that.) And they are not even any drag queens, some of them are quite famous. Just by myself, I've recognized Varla Jean Merman from Girls Will Be Girls, Heather Lettuce, and Sweetie. It was exciting for me and I don't really know why. I've stated before that I'm not into gender illusionists, but maybe after listening to a few episodes of Jonny McGovern's Podcasts and watching a few gay films featuring hilarious drag queen comedians, my attitude has changed.

It's not an easy task to design for drag queens. They are big, they are tall, they are over the top, plus most of them design their own costumes, so they know a thing or two about sewing. They have their own signature styles and they have got the biggest attitude and will let you know about if they think your design is whack. It makes for a very entertaining episode, and you know that's the case when you see last season's Chris March walking down the runway wearing this:

Come on, disco boobs, Rapunzel hair and sharp viking horn helmet? How can you not love the episode already? (Image from the RunGays)

Other than Suede confronting his client for criticizing his design too much, the episode was actually quite uneventful. (Doesn't he know not to do that? You're puting your life in danger. Good thing Heather took the high road.) I was a little bothered by the drag performers showing up as regular men during one of the measuring sessions. It might have been an effort to normalize drag performers, as they are regular people too. But it destroyed the fantasy and illusions, and then what do you have?

Well anyway, here are the designs:

The Winner:

Worn by the fabulous Varla Jean Merman. Of course, she corrected a few errors and came out with the sailor theme and jewelry, so designer Joe kinda lucked out. With a vibrant personality like Varla Jean, you can throw a pile of shit on her and she'll still sell them like hotcakes. It's a sure win. Keith who picked models first must have been blind.

The Auf'd:

It's not a bad dress, I don't even think it's bad for a drag queen. I think Daniel got auf'd because of his shitty attitude and the guy kinda deserved it. If everything is beneath him then why is he even on the show? Doesn't he realize that this is kinda a game show?

The Honorable Mentions:

They are pretty, glamorous. I get it.

The Bizarres:

The "Geisha-on-acid" look fits the personality portrayed by Acid Betty and it was one of the top 3 this week but I can't say I love it. The Jurassic Park pterodactyl look is too over the top. Wings? Blayne could have done better with fringe hanging off sleeves.

The black and white dress is the other bottom two contestant this week and it kinda deserved it. Heather Lettuce's outfit was a bit of a mess, I think Suede was trying to make her look like Savoy cabbage and it turns out a bit Flintstones-like, and those little lettuce flowers on the sleeves are kinda ugly. It would have been one of my bottom design.

The Rest:

No big problems, and nothing really special either. The last design sorta looks like a pinata though, hope no one's gonna beat her up with a bat.

RuPaul is a very appropriate guest judge but is there anything wrong with her? She looks different. Is it the lighting, the make up, or is she wasting away?

All in all, I have to say, it's one of the best episodes so far.


Movie Review: Hamlet 2

CuteCub got us some free tickets to go to a pre-screening of Hamlet 2 last night. It was sponsored by two local radio station and before the screening there was a trivia session where they gave out some gifts. CuteCub got a small vinyl single of a guy named Jonathan Richman and the name of the vinyl called You Can Have A Cell Phone, That's Ok, But Not Me since we both didn't know who he was or what kinda music he played, we made up tunes and sang it out loud after the movie. It just screams country song titles to me and CuteCub made up some pretty good country songs. He was gonna give the vinyl to a friend to find out what kinda music it actually is, I found it on YouTube, not impressed, we could have done something much more creative with that song title.

The movie is about a wannabe actor who's not successful in Hollywood and went to Tuscon, Arizona to be the drama teacher in a high school. His unsuccessful career continues in producing high school plays, and with the trends of cuts in high school art program led to his desperation in producing one final high school play called Hamlet 2. The movie is full of embarrassingly low-brow ridiculous humor that squeeze you to laugh because of how ridiculous everything is. It is a bit exhausting at times, in that it is cheesy and kinda cliche. But since CuteCub thinks it's hilarious and his giggles are kinda infectious, I had a good time nonetheless. I wouldn't really recommend it though. Let's say the movie resembles Sister Act 2, but the jokes are no as punctuated and the music is not as memorable. D+?

The third thing of the day that is a bit disappointing and not as good as imagination makes it up to be would be CuteCub himself. Great in theory, cute as shit, but taken, fills with 'NO' and we are way different. It's like Roger and Mimi.

"Another Time, Another Place,
Our Temperature Would Climb, There'd Be A Long Embrace.
We'd Do Another Dance, It'd Be Another Play.
Looking For Romance? Come Back Another Day."


Time Filler

>> Thursday, August 21, 2008

Since I've so much spare time, I think I need to use it wisely. Maybe I can starve myself into a slimmer figure, somehow I have inexplicably lost 4 more pounds in the past week. I realize that I have canceled my gym membership and that's possibly a wrong thing to have done, but I believe I have paid until the end of September so I can still use it at my leisure. Spend an hour or two each day might help me improve my (gay) life in general. I think I'm gonna start a diet too, after geting a huge piece of cake from the Pink Rose that is.

The art of negotiation has always eluded me. (Why can't I be more like my mother?) Case and point, I'm still waiting for my ex-board president to call me back with an offer, assuming that they are going to give me one. Here's CBS' Jason Bellini demonstrate how to negotiate in China's Silk Market(?), I would kill to have his skills.

I love this clip.


The Unbelievable Kipkay

>> Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Browsing around YouTube and found a guy who's well verse in day-to-day hacking and I'm an instant fan. Maybe it's the anarchist in me, or maybe it was MacGyver or James Bond that brought it on but what Kipkay is doing is really amazing.

I believe that the guy means no harm, although what he's teaching people to do is very provocative and at times it can be very technical, since I don't have any education in engineering and I get squirmish when I'm around tools that I deem dangerous, like a circular saw, a soldering gun or even stripping an electric wire, I don't think I can imitate what he's doing anytime soon, but just by listening to his soothing voice and watching his videos as he presents his ideas is quite eye-opening.

Here's a little taste.

Some other things he does is borderline riskee, but it's dielivered in such a fun manner that you'd thought it's totally harmless.

And this is just questionable...

And my favorite:

He's like Neil the Science Guy only with information that I actually wants to know. I swear the guy is a genius.


2008 Olympics Highlights

>> Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Not exactly highlights, I mean I have watched as much the Olympics as I could but I can't claim to pay attention to every sports I'm watching.

Big news of course is Michael Phelps winning every event he enters. Did you see the 100M Butterfly event and how close he was to lose that medal? You must have, they replayed it to death. The mean queens I associated with have deemed his mom Debbie as the QVC queen because it looks like she got all her wardrobe and jewelry from the shopping channels. Honestly though, that's kinda sweet to have your mom following you around although I can't help but think about the pagaent mom aspect of these athletes. How many of them went into sports willingly?

From some angles, Michale Phelps could look a bit Igor-like, from his interview his mom said he had been teased severely when he was a kid. But I happen to think he looks kinda hunky from some other angles, plus he got a great body and he's only 23. The standard winning pose reminds me of Spiderman. Too bad he's straight, huh? SV told me that he had seen Australian swimmer Ian Thorpe hanging around gay clubs with his presumably boyfriend. I seriously doubt that had anything to do with me if those guys are gay or not, but it sounds interesting. Since Phelps is only 23, I wonder if he would got to the next Olympics in Vancouver and compete again. Is 27 too old for an athlete?

The close call and the porn stache. And can I state here how much I dislike the full-body swimming suit?

I'm kinda fixated with that Spiderman-like, all streched out, open-mouthed , madmen winning pose.

Speaking of Olympics hunkiness, a friend told me that the whole gay Asia had fallen for a Japanese Hammer Thrower called Koji Murofushi, the guy is G-men worthy. He's handsome as hell and those dimples when he smiles are kinda like CuteCub's... dreamy. I have no interest in the sport at all, so I have no idea how he's doing or how he did, but I can watch that muscular body spin all day. My friends an I are hunting around to see if we can find a shirtless shot of him somewhere, I have to say I'm out of luck but I found a really cheesy commercial on YouTube of him for a brand of Ramen noodle. It has to be from a few years back and he was yelling for "Men(noodles), men, men, men, men...", bad career move. It also turns out that his mom is Romanian, that would explain the good looks, the Japanese gene seems to be the vodka of genes, it goes well with everything.

You spin me right round, daddy, right round...

Handsome with a great bod.

I don't think anyone would kick him outta bed, what do you think?

Not to be stereotypical but certain sports are adored by the gays. For me, I love women's volleyball, gymnastics and diving. When I heard news that they might not play rhythmic gymnastics because the American team didn't make the finals, I'm heartbroken. I really wish they would broadcast it, I'll show you the following clips anyhow. It's almost like a form of martial arts, isn't it?

By the way, does anyone else think that Béla Károlyi is a bit of a nutjob? If I didn't know he's from Romania, I would have thought he was doing a Mario impression.

I'm also pleased to see that they went to Hong Kong for all the equestrian sports. By the way, I got teased by my friends for chastising the commentator who after Chinese diving champion Guo JingJing tooke her winning dive and went into the shower and said "You can see the tears in her eyes." The girl is in the shower and you're telling me you can see tears in her eyes? Are you shitting me? It's even worst then the reporter who asks Michael Phelps "How important was it for you to win this gold medal?"

Well, only one more week of Olympics to go.


The Rise and Fall of Communities

>> Monday, August 18, 2008

It started with a copy of Out magazine. CuteCub and I were hanging out and we were discussing about the unrealistic portrait of the gay lifestyle in those glossy magazines and cruising websites. Not every gay guy has the money and means to wear designer clothing, not every gay guy has the mean or the will to follow circuit parties and travel to exotic locations for vacation. Some of us have low incomes, flabby bodies and average looks. Some of us don't have the will to starve ourselves into fashion optimum figures. (Is that why the Out Magazine group along with the other business doing so poorly?)

CuteCub was skeptical of the gay community, "What community? To be a community you have to encompass everything in the general society. A few bars here and there hardly makes a community." And stereotype are just that, not every gay is into dance music, interior decorating and Martha Stewart. While I get his points, I still hope that there is some sort of comraderie if not anything else. Apparently CuteCub is not for gay marriage either, unless there is some sort of recognized benefit attached to it. I used to think the same way, if two people are truly in love with each other, you don't need outside recognition. But as I'm getting older, I seek security and acknowledgment. If you say you love me, I want it to be hard for you to change your mind. I also feel that the act of marriage, from proposal to honeymoon is extremely romantic and I can be a sucker for romance.

The Gay Luck Club people held their first event Saturday night. It went well, there were about 60 people in attendance and it did turn out to be a pool party even though initially the building wouldn't let us use the pool area. It was nice to meet new people, although a lot of Asian or White twinks alike giving attitude but I'm old enough to let people be. With the revelation I had a few weeks ago (people are what makes life meaningful), I know my need to surround myself with good people and I'm glad I have a good base to start with. If it is as CuteCub said that there is no gay community, all of us are responsible for building our own and I'll have to stop pussyfooting around.

To live life to its fullest.


Lukewarm Summer Days

>> Sunday, August 17, 2008

I don't know since when but I haven't been able to sleep with someone for a long while. Don't get me wrong, I can still have sex but not literally sleep with someone else. I think even with Principe around, he has to turn to his side while I turn to mine for me to have a good night sleep. I might be too self-conscious, maybe after someone had reminded me that I snore one too many time that I don't want to hold someone in my arm while snoring in their ears. Well, in the "too much information" category, sometimes I drool too, and drooling on someone would be horrifying not only to the person but to me as well. But even though I didn't sleep well, I had the chance to hold someone in my arms throughout the night while that person slept quite soundly in my arms and that made me happy.

Speaking of Principe, I can't believe even he found a job in a pharmacy while I don't have a job lined up yet, I'm happy for him though. I have applied for a few other jobs and I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself since I'm not technically unemployed yet. I'm on vacation until the end of the month and then I can call myself unemployed. I had a chance to talk to the board of directors to see if they can help me claim my severance. I even wrote a long ass letter detailing my reasoning and intentions. The first batch of people got their when they get laid off 2 years ago, I shouldn't be punished for staying on longer, I got duped so many times and I was being a good sport about it, loyalty should go both ways, etc... But I'm not too optimistic, worst come to worst, I can always sue their asses, it's just not my first choice.

Hopefully something will come to be soon.


Music Invasion: Danity Kane's "Damaged"

I thought Danity Kane was a person but they turned out to be a group of girlband produced by P. Diddy in one of those Making the Band show. Great song, I'm actually hooked on a remixed version so the vocals in the song weren't quite distinctive. Don't we all feel damaged every once in a while if not all the time? But isn't it wrong to demand other people to fix you up? It would be so much easier for others to move on to other undamaged goods.

Do, Do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, Do you know how to patch up a wound?
Tell me,
Are-are-are-are you?
Are you patient,
Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I

I've tried every remedy
And nothing seems to work for me

Baby, (baby)
This situation’s driving me crazy
And I really wanna be your lady
But the one before you left me so

Damaged, damaged
Damaged, damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, damaged
So damaged (so damaged)
And you can blame the one before

So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
(Baby, I gotta know)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
(What you are gonna do, baby?)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
(Baby, I gotta know)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
(What you are gonna do?)

Do, Do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, Do you know how to patch up a wound?
Tell me,
Are-are-are-are you?
Are you patient,
'Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I

You try to gain my trust
Talking is not enough
Actions speak louder than words
You gotta show me something
My heart is missing some pieces
I need this puzzle put together again


Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t?
Cause it's d-a-m-a-g-e-d?
Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t?

Tell me are you up for the challenge
Cause my heart is

Damaged, damaged
Damaged, damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, damaged
So damaged (so damaged)
And you can blame the one before

Damaged, damaged
damaged, damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, damaged
So Damaged (so damaged)
And you can blame the one before

So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?

My heart is

My heart is

My heart is

My heart is

My heart is


Weekend Meme: 7 Deadly Sins Quiz

>> Saturday, August 16, 2008

Stole this from some old posts by Ted at The Neighbors Will Hear. His site consists of entries mostly about his sexual expeditions which is incredibly hot.

Seven is one of my favorite movies of all time and this meme deals analyzes to see which sin you committed and to what level. Unsurprisingly, mine is sloth. Remembering what happened to the guy who committed sloth in the movie, it wasn't pretty. I hope you find this quiz interesting. The link is below and remember to check all that applies.

Oh and, have a great weekend!


Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz


Music Invasion - Retro Double Take: Petula Clark's "This Is My Song" & The Carpenters' "The End of The World"

>> Friday, August 15, 2008

We have a special edition today. Yes, I'm afraid your blogger host here has gone retro and pulled out these two nostalgic numbers.

Well actually, I think Petula Clark's This Is My Song popped up the other day on my iPod and stayed in my head a little bit. In my little wikipedia research, I found out that this song is actually written by the great Charlie Chaplin in 1966 who was then a next door neighbor of Petula Clark. I got the song from the soundtrack of Billy's Hollywood Screenkiss, I have to say I love that movie because it introduced me to some great music, including Nina Simone which I so love. If it wasn't for that movie, I would have been completely ignorant.

The song is quite melodramatic and there is a certain naivete to the subject of love. I'm so in love with you that the whole world seems to look better with you around. It reminds me when I first fall in love with someone, everything does sem a lot brighter and nicer. The movie version is here, done in a mock-hollywood way, it's worth seeing it just distract you from the music but feel free to compare.

This Is My Song

Why is my heart so light?
Why are the stars so bright?
Why is the sky so blue
Since the hour I met you?

Flowers are smiling bright,
Smiling for our delight,
Smiling so tenderly
For all the world, you and me

I know why the world is smiling,
Smiling so tenderly
It hears the same old story
Through all eternity

Love, this is my song
Here is a song, a serenade to you
The world cannot be wrong
If in this world, there is you

I care not what the world may say
Without your love, there is no day
So, love, this is my song
Here is a song, a serenade to you

I care not what the world may say
Without your love, there is no day
So, love, this is my song
Here is a song, a serenade to you


The reason why I put a second retro song in this post is because they kinda complete each other. I think they use the same method to deliver the exact opposite messages. My heart is broken but how come the world is still turning? It's still melodramatic if not more so and you can still feel the naivete. This song is originally done by Skeeter Davis 5 years before the above song in 1962. I wonder if this song has inspired the other one or not. It's a great break up song, don't blame the guy, blame the whole world. I chose the Carpenter version of this song because it is the one that I'm most familiar with.

I guess at the end when you compare the two, you get a sense that the world doesn't care, things move on the same way no matter how you're feeling. I can't understand, no, I can't understand, how life goes on the way it does?

The End Of The World

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world
'Cause you don't love me anymore?

Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when I lost your love

I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why ev'rything is the same as it was
I can't understand, no, I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does!

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye

Don't they know It's the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye


The Lady Who Cried For Me

Since my panic attack happened 3 weeks ago, I didn't feel particularly having to leave where I work on Tuesday. I have returned to my usual nonchalant self, which is good but bad; I really need to get on with my job applications. I also need to make a few more phone calls to see if I can get my severance in a relatively civil way. They are not really things that I enjoy doing, so my pace is set to slow.

After going out for a dinner with my excolleagues alike, they reminded me to cross my Ts and dot my Is, to write in some vacation slips even though it was understood that I need to take my vacations because they won't be paid for or else it might seem that I've gone AWOL. My colleague also told me that once I've left, a volunteer PM who was pretty close to me bursted out crying. Aw, that's so sweet of her. I didn't know anyone would care enough to cry for me. (I know I must have broke a few hearts along the line but this is different.)

For the 7 years of employment, PM has been volunterring with us for 5. She's this flail wiry older lady with the best work ethics. Pretty much everyone who's volunteering with us has HIV/AIDS and she's no different, and it's heartbreaking sometimes to see an already skinny lady wasting down further with each medication change. I try my best to bring her food and buy her lunch every now and then, so maybe she can gain pass 100 lbs. Honestly, how did I get to be twice her size, is that even possible? As entitled to disabilities and home life as she can be, PM refuses to stay home and insist on working really hard in our office. Sorting things here, writing a newsletter there, she told me that if there's nothing for her to do, it will drive her crazy and she likes to feel that she's useful. So more often than not, we'll find some mundane tasks to occupy her time and she has became the hardest working person in the office. If everybody can be as hard working as her, maybe the company would have stayed afloat. I once offered her an administrative assistant position so she'll get paid and benefits because she really deserves them. She refused because she thought she won't be able to handle it, but now she's there all the time.

Two years ago, she got cancer and underwent chemo. I visited her a few times and while I didn't think it was possible she got even skinnier.I was worried and everybody have their time of passing and maybe I'm justgenerally pessimistic because my prime example of cancer patient didn't survive, I try to avoid going deep into talking about death and diseases, so I got her a scarf for winter, a robe and a pair of slippers for X'mas. But what do you know? After the chemo, PM sprung back up just as her usual tough self; getting healthier each day, gaining appetite and eating more than usual. Now she's working as hard as she's ever been.

I wish nothing but the best for her. She's a good person, a good honest old fashioned hard working person, the kind that believe by doing good, good things will happen to her. I admire that and she does deserve good things happening to her.


Music Invasion: Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue's "Where The Wild Roses Grow"

>> Thursday, August 14, 2008

I just saw Francois' new video (NSFW) over at Toni's and Francois' own website and I'm delighted to find out that actually Francois himself sung on the track. His voice is quite masculine, romantic and as Toni has put it, gentle (in a very sexy way).

The mood of the song and the duet reminds me of another song which I loved when it first came out. I wouldn't go as far as saying that it is my favorite Kylie Minogue song, but I love it because of its uniqueness. The song is called Where the Wild Roses Grow, it's a duet that Kylie did with a singer called Nick Cave, who back in 1996 published a concept album called the Murder Ballads; each song has something to do with crimes that involves murder.

The song itself is full of mystique and dark, slow energy. It tells a story about how a psychopath courted a girl and then killed her by the river. While Kylie plays the victim telling her side of the story, the killer played by Nick Cave tells his side. There's an obvious contrast to their voices, a bit like beauty and the beast. I find the song kinda pretty and pretty intriguing and provocative as well. Hope you guys like it.

Where The Wild Roses Grow

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one
She stared in my eyes and smiled
For her lips were the colour of the roses
That grew down the river, all bloody and wild

When he knocked on my door and entered the room
My trembling subsided in his sure embrace
He would be my first man, and with a careful hand
He wiped at the tears that ran down my face

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me that I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

On the second day I brought her a flower
She was more beautiful than any woman I've seen
I said, "Do you know where the wild roses grow
So sweet and scarlet and free?"

On the second day he came with a single red rose
He said: "Give me your loss and your sorrow"
I nodded my head, as I lay on the bed
"If I show you the roses will you follow?"

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me that I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he knelt above me with a rock in his fist

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
She lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief
And I kissed her goodbye, said, "All beauty must die"
And I lent down and planted a rose between her teeth

They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Eliza Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Eliza Day


To recognize insanity is the only thing that keeps me in check.


DVD Review: Penelope

I have loved Christina Ricci ever since Addams Family, it's hard not to, she's pretty, she can act, she can do goth, she's off centered, there's plenty to love. I loved Addams Family and she's one of the shining brilliance in that film and its sequel. She also played a very sassy Dede in the Opposite of Sex. But I still love her the best when she's doing fantasies or horrors. (Probably why I haven't gone to see Black Snake Moan)

Well, Penelope is a modern day fairy tale about a curse being placed in a blue-blooded family where the first girl born will be cursed with the face of a pig, and the curse will only lifted when she get excepted by one of her own kind. Her mother being an overbearing one, wanted to protect her from the outside world so Penelope grew up without leaving her house. While suitors were brought in and introduced to the pig-faced girl for marriage in order to break the curse and one by one they ran away or jumped out the window, where then a butler would chase them down and force them to sign a gag so they wouldn't go out and tell the world. The story took a turn when one of them ran free...

I throughoutly enjoyed this movie, it's very sweet. The production of it is wonderful, love the lighting, the sets and the costumes. Fantasies/Fairy Tales/Superheroes are just the types of movies I enjoy. The story is simple and it's even suitable for kids. And can I say now that I've seen this movie, I actually find James McAvoy hot, I used to just think of him as a scruffier looking Shia LaBeouf. Simon Woods of Rome's fame and Reese Witherspoon are also in it and Catherine O'Hara plays the messed up mom who doesn't know when to shut up.

I can only nitpick on how the baby was supposed to have crooked pig ears and they didn't go with that on the adult version and the previous shot and the ending shot of the boyfriend's apartment didn't look quite the same, but they did manage to create a complete fantasy environment. It's a good film if you like fairy tales, I liked it. (The shredded chiffon wedding dress is so beautiful.) B+


Places I've Been

>> Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Took a little map like this to tell me that I've actually not been to that many places. When I was young, I thought I would travel all 7 continents, but so far, I've only been to Asia, Europe and North America. I don't really know if I would get a chance to travel Antartica at all, and Africa seems distant and too foreign. It might be possible to go to Australia and South America.

When I was young I also though I wanted a family with children of different colors, I should be happy to know that even if I can't realize my dream Angelina Pitt did.

(I didn't count places where I have to change flights or the planes stop to refuel, or else, I would have to add Detroit, Denver, Saudi Arabia and Tokyo.)


The Dream That Broke My Fever

>> Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Last night I dreamt that my brother, my mother and I were escaping from some sort of dark force and some guy discovered our identity and blackmailed my mother. Strange, because I don't have a brother and my mom died a long time ago. It could have been the codeine speaking and it could be because I was watching True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet on Lifetime.

In my dream, I was strangling the person who blackmailed us, trying to throw him in front of a train but missed. It felt real and I think I was calculating how to block the air of the person and I hanged on until the person passed out until my conscience gave mercy and I realized that I could never kill anyone. When I woke up, both my hands were asleep; one was under my head and the other one was between my knees.

So I decided that I feel well enough to go to work today and at the same time I have too much vacation on my hand that even this is my last day of work they will still owe me a week worth of pay. After digging through an employee handbook for my right, I find out that they actually owe me 6 months worth of severance. It's true that my boss told me that the company has no money left (while he's vacationing in Mexico), I wonder if I should pursue any legal action just to get what I'm due. From another colleague, I heard that the reason I'm not getting my vacation reimbursed is because he wants to pay my former boss, or his lover, to come in and act as a consultant. My current boss has been doing that for the past year but my former boss hasn't done squat to earn his keep.

I, as a believer of karma and brought up by the conservative Chinese culture, will believe that nothing good comes from law suits. All this fighting won't get me a new job or a good reference. Like strangling my blackmailer, I probably wouldn't have the gore to see it through. At the same time, I can't stand the thought of being taken advantage of in such high degree without making a sound, just because I'm nice and easy going doesn't mean you can step all over me. So I'm gonna seek legal aids and see what that will bring. I can surely use the money now that I'm going to be unemployed. Just because my boss thinks that the money will be better utilized by his lover doesn't mean that I should suffer for it. I wouldn't want to bring down the company with me, but more and more I think that it might be better if I do. It wouldn't have resorted to this if they have been more considerate.


Are You Gonna Go My Way?

>> Monday, August 11, 2008

Yesterday I attended a very lovely BBQ to celbrate A&Y's wedding. Their banquet is not until the end of this month but they did register on the 8th, and they wanted to get their friends together beforehand. There were chicken wings, chicken chops, chicken kidneys (believe me they were D-lish), pork ribs, pork chops, turkey sausages, steak, fish balls, corns, soup, fruit salad, cheese cakes, fruit tarts and strawberry shortcakes. The more I get together with Y, the more impressed I am with her cooking skills, well, also her ability to drink. She couldn't weight more than 120 lbs, but she can drink any guy under the table. She must have gotten some enzymes that the average Asian doesn't have.

During the planning of the BBQ, she said she'll get about 80 lbs of meat. There'll be 20 of us attending and she was really confident that each of us can eat around 4 lbs. 4 lbs of meat? That'll take me 2 days to finish. I got her 2 strawberry shortcakes and I thought I could stack one on top of the other to make it look like a wedding cake, but it wasn't stable enough so I scratched that idea.

Halfway through the day, we started a game of Mahjong again and all the sudden I got really tired and cold. From what I recognize, that's a sign of my fever. My throat has been aching since Friday and with the fever I got weary. One of our friends drove me home around 6pm. Measured my temparature and it was 100.6 Fahrenheit, took some Tylenol and went to bed. I didn't get up until 8am this morning, got dressed and went to the doctor's.

Since I didn't get an appointment early on, the nurse wouldn't let me see the doctor unless everybody with an appointment get to see the doctor first and I waited about 2 hours. That pissed me off. You can't schedule when you're sick, everybody else are just going there for physicals, that's not as urgent as a person with legitamite complaints. I shouldn't be punished just because I'm sick. All the while, I got a call from the office saying that I shouldn't count on having my vacation time reimbursed at the end of my employment, and that I should take all of them before the end of the month. The cheap bastards must be saving that money for their own severance. It would probably means that today would have been my last day, anyhow I should go in tomorrow with my external hard drive in and take some files I need. I probably need to tell them where everything is before I leave and configure stuff, so they can work after I leave. There are also reports due by the end of October that I haven't start yet, but that's not my concern anymore.

The doctor says I have strep throat, and I think I know how I got it. I can't even swallow my own spit without hurting like hell. I haven't eaten much for the past 18 hours at all. Didn't win the lottery again. (lol) Got some medication that doesn't do much, hopefully I'll feel better soon. Haven't heard anything from the jobs I applied for but at least now I won't have any excuse but to really look for a job.

Things are just not going my way, hope that will change soon.


Chinatown Olympics Celebrations

>> Sunday, August 10, 2008

Went out with the Gay Luck Club gang Friday night for a celebration the local Chinese community is throwing. I've to say it's great to feel the spotlight on our community. Everybody is really excited that China is hosting the event, somehow it makes us proud. I think a lot of us don't identify with the existing Chinese government but we identify and unite as a "people" nonetheless. It's hard to explain it but even though we are so different and far apart, there is no mistake that we are Chinese, we look the same and we experience the same tradition and culture. When a country has a history as deep as the Chinese, the existing political trend seems temporary and bearable.

The street fair is a little half-assed, I think they were trying to clean up or renovate the gate before the event but somehow something happened but did not finish on time so the scaffolding are still surrounding the gate. (pst, contractors...) There's a stage with a jumbotron on it for the opening ceremonies that we're all gonna be watching. Young kids are demonstrating karate and performing some cultural dances. The whole block is closed of where in different section there are vendors selling souvenir merchandises, a Tai Chi corner where older ladies are doing slow steps, a soccer net where kids are kicking balls around, rowing machines, gymnastic mats, ping pong tables, baseball corner, and some dragon/lion dance. There are people selling kabobs too, but that's kinda strange given it doesn't have anything to do with China and there are tons of Chinese pastry shops and restaurants just next to the sidewalks. (But they do add some sensory intrigues to the street fair, ooh the smell.)

OK. I have to confess about a dark side of me. There's something that provoke my violent side, I don't know what childhood trauma I have to invoke to explain this one but - people in plushies mascot outfits just turns my gear. Well, it doesn't make me angry and turn me to the hulk, but it's pretty much putting themselves in a trap suit and I just like to trip them over and start kicking. Whether it is Spongebob, Big Bird, Mickey Mouse or just putting a bucket over your head, it just provoke my urge to "jump" that person. Am I just terrible? Funny, coz' it doesn't work for people in regular Halloween costumes or Santa, just plushies with things covering their heads and heavy getups that ensure they won't be able to run far.

That brings me to my point of the current Olympic mascots, aren't they the most hideous ones in the history of Olympics or is it just me?

I mean seriously, WTF?

I thought it's so unnecessary to have all 5 of them, and are they kids, animals or what? And I thought it was the 5 Chinese elements (Metal, Wood, Water, Fire and Earth) but then it turns out to be Sea, Forest, Fire, Earth and Sky which makes no sense whatsoever and each of them represents a sport and an Olympic ring. Each of them is an animal other than the red one who is the Olympic torch, their names spell Beibei, Jingjing, Welwel, Comecomes, Youyou. (not really, but you get the point) Yuck! Over-designed and over-complicated.

After a great Chinese dinner, all 8 of us headed back into the flag-lined street and stepped right in front of the jumbotron waiting for the opening ceremony to came on. There is a deep comradery even the people filling the street are not completely Chinese. And then the show started, and the crowd was cheering. Being in a good mood with my Asian friends, I joke with them that they are going to shoot the people who didn't move at the exact same pace, that the 56 little girls carrying the Chinese flags from the different tribes in China are all orphans they found on the street who were abandoned because they were girls, and I mocked that you can hear the propaganda hammering your head when they played the Chinese national anthem, and that the controversy will come when they find the bodies of dozens of protesters in a warehouse somewhere two weeks after the Olympics, but deep down inside I was happy and excited just like everybody else. Half an hour into it we left because the signal was really shabby (damn evil Comcast) and I curse my forgetful self for not recording it on my DVD so I can watch it again and again. But all in all, I've had a good night.

Karate and the Crowd

Lion Dance (BTW, isn't the guy on the left a cutie?)

BeiBei Trying My Patience. (and yes, there's a person inside.)

Demonstrated Here - The Death of Yingying. (children cried.)

The Jumbotron and Its Sucky Digital Signals.

(Apparently the controversy already started with the death of the family of a coach, also they had technical difficulties with the American national anthem when Michael Phelps took the gold for the 400 meters individual medley. WTF China? Shape up!)


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