Yellow Rage

>> Monday, March 31, 2008

I was thinking Yellow Rage would be more passive aggressive, more in line with my authentic experience, this is more Americanized. lol. They successfully mention a few issues though. I love.

via 8Asians


Vacation Part 1: Atlantic City

>> Sunday, March 30, 2008

I was gonna digest what happened my trip with Medic Guy a bit more before posting but I guess I'm able to type and think in the same time now and I have built a habit to post.

I was worried about the weather being bad last week, but it was actually surprisingly nicer than what was expected. It hardly rained at all. Medic Guy and I went down to Atlantic City Thursday, we checked into the Resorts casino. The room were nicer than we expected, a king bed for $59 a night on the corner, we had windows in front of the bed and on the right side. it was really nice but we changed room after Medic Guy took a shower and found out that the bathtub was clogged and leaking to the floor. Since we were quick to act, we got another room facing the ocean this time.

It was great, we had a good time walking around being together, looking at things and doing things as a couple. Went to a very late buffet lunch, got served, ate and everything and was wondering when and where we should pay. When we ask the waitressm she told us that we should probably just go because we were supposed to have paid before getting in. That was a good thing, I told myself since I already "won" a free lunch, I shouldn't gamble and that kept me from the blackjack tables.

Went to dinner afterwards and ordered a few too many dishes. We were already not that hungry for a late lunch but I insisted on ordering something that I knew was good - lobster mash potatoes. I had a few bites of that and Medic Guy refuses to try it. He already don't eat any seafood but swordfish, shrimps and lobsters and now he tells me he has to be in the mood for seafood and he doesn't like the lobster and the poatoes to touch. God, I dislike picky eaters. The next thing I know, two girls seating at the next table was making comments about our dishes and one of them with a bigger mouth asked if she can have any. Huh?! Okay... It actually turns out to be quite interesting, we talked about New Jersey, our respective jobs, food and restaurants and Las Vegas. One of them is a 40-something Sex and the City chick wannabe with a big mouth (Kat), the other one is more like a 30 something moody environmentalist type. I guess the Kat was feeling frisky and perhaps trying to flirt or pick us up until Medic Guy blatantly made it known that we were a couple of Mos. At the end, Kat asked if she can take my mash home after I repeatedly mentioned that I wouldn't want to take that to go. I actually liked the extra company, although I'm a bit irked it is still quite entertaining.

We left for Rehoboth Beach the next day.


The Long Weekend Coming

>> Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Medic Guy and I had talked about going away for a few days during his vacation and that's what we're doing starting tomorrow. I handed in my vacation slip weeks ago, not knowing whether we'd be together that long. But somehow we made it through lent and I think this marks our 7th week together. I'm still not convinced about the whole thing, but we'll see.

So we're going to spend one night in Atlantic City and then go down the shore to a gay bed and breakfast in Rehoboth Beach. We'll stop by Ocean City and Cape May on our way down, take the Cape May-Lewes Ferry across the bay. The weather wasn't supposed to be that pleasant, but since everything is booked already, might as well enjoy ourselves. Lately my spending pattern has gone way off track, so I really have to set some rules for myself. I'm afraid I might lose my lifetime savings on a Blackjack table. And there are a few outlets near Rehoboth and Delaware is tax-free so it could pose trouble as well. I really want to get a Canon Rebel XTi, Principe took mine and I misses it a lot. I guess for now, my cell phone has to do. It's a good 3.2 Megapix, but sometime it could get out of focus. But if I play cards and win enough money...

I'm quite excited about the trip, not just because this could be a potential sex fest and the bed and breakfast is partially clothing optional and got a jacuzzi. But mostly because I haven't been anywhere but Atlantic city. So I might be out of commission for a few days. Medic Guy doesn't know I have a blog that writes about him, so I wouldn't be able to write even though I'll be bringing my laptop with me. C U Next Tuesday!


Chinese Travel Guide, Part 4

>> Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A few parting words:

10. You will be pleased to find that we are quite gay-friendly

11. Whatever you do, don't be a cunt.

(Is it like a pepper spray? I'm more interested in that "shake condom", does that vibrate?)

(They knew the word gynecology, but...)

12. Just have fun!

(Can you hear the Ms. Swan accent?)

Well, I hope this guide was helpful. Enjoy and have a pleasant jounrey!


Chinese Travel Guide, Part 3

>> Monday, March 24, 2008

More information that you might need when traveling in China:

7. Some places might have a dress code

8. Bathroom etiquettes

(Does that include bowing down?)

(People have to make a living somehow)

(It's not really for cruising, you know)

(Wastes are good for plants)

(For the days when you feel insecure)

9. Do some good work while you're there.

(And we don't want anyone to be homeless, do we?)


Chinese Travel Guide, Part 2

It's not nice to make fun and god knows how much Chinglish I use, but here I am again.

4. Watch where you're going.

(There's zen in this one: Be humble even if you think it's smooth sailing.)

5. Know where you're going.

(For the hard asses)

(You know who you are)

6. Beware of your belongings.

(I actualy thought this was pretty well phrased)

(You are on your own if you're kidnapped...)


Chinese Travel Guide, Part 1

>> Sunday, March 23, 2008

Since the Olympics will be held in China in the coming August, I thought it would be prudent to write out some basic rules for the ones who are in China for the very first time. China is not the easiest country to navigate since most of the population don't speak anything but Chinese.

1. Some Chinese are meant to be read from the right to the left.

2. We have newer technologies.

(I agree, digital cameras are far superior)

(For the true environmentalists)

3. When it comes to eating, what doesn't kill you make you stronger.

(Might as well close your eyes and point)

(Bears - not for the faint of hearts)


(Is that a Lady Day reference? Strange fruit is actually Kiwi)



>> Saturday, March 22, 2008

I went all the way up to Queens, NY today with some friends, one of them told us that the Chinatown up there is bigger than the one in Manhattan and they have tons more good food. It turned out to be true.

On my way back, we passed by Bowery and Canal and I spotted a little storefront that happens to be a temple for my godfather - WongTaiSin.

My family is all inclusive when it comes to religion; better safe than sorry seems to be my grandmother's motto. Us Chinese are mostly buddhist, if not in practice at least in lifestyle. There are plenty of buddhist temples in Hong Kong, heck we have one of the largest buddha statues in the world. My grandma also practice Taoism, so much so that I often confuse the two. Until this day, I couldn't really tell you what the difference is between Buddhism and Taoism. They both requires the burning of incense, they both believe in the living dead, both related to some sort of Kung Fu. Although Taoist stories are often more colorful since they believe in a lot more deities and ghosts.

I grew up going to a Protestant primary school, and then a Catholic boarding school and high school. Our family went through a phase of Shintoism from Japan which I still don't know why. Our neighbors down the hall are Indian Muslims. So I guess I inherited that mentality, in that in anything you do you should expect karmic consequences. In reality I would categorize myself as agnostic or borderline atheistic, mostly because I'm anti-authority and organized religions are seedy and unnecessary.

That brings me back to the story, my grandma actually brought me to the WongTaiSin Temple when I was a baby and prayed to him to took me in as his grandson. It was so forced, ha. But it is our family's tradition to go to the temple every year to pray for things during Chinese New Year. My godfather here also perform some special functions. There are all these bamboo containers that holds a hundred bamboo sticks in there, and each stick corresponds to a poem. So every year, we prepare a long lists of questions and then we bring it to the temple. For each of these questions, grandma would shake the bamboo container until one of the sticks falls to the floor and the corrsponding poem is supposed to be the answer.

I asked my godfather about Medic Guy today, he seems to like him.


Music Invasion: Tori Amos' "Time"

>> Friday, March 21, 2008

I know she's not everybody's cup of tea, but I have always loved Tori Amos. All of her CDs are in my iPod and she constantly pops up. This popped up today and it's a very beautiful rendition of Tom Waits' "Time", I hope you enjoy.

The shadow boys are breaking all the laws
And you're east of East St. Louis
And the wind is making speeches
And the rain sounds like a round of applause
Napoleon is weeping in the Carnival saloon
His invisible fiance is in the mirror
The band is going home
It's raining hammers, it's raining nails
Yes, it's true, there's nothing left for him down here

And it's Time Time Time
And it's Time Time Time
And it's Time Time Time
That you love
And it's Time Time Time
And they all pretend they're Orphans
And their memory's like a train
You can see it getting smaller as it pulls away
And the things you can't remember
Tell the things you can't forget that
History puts a saint in every dream
Well she said she'd stick around
Until the bandages came off
But these mamas boys just don't know when to quit
And Matilda asks the sailors are those dreams
Or are those prayers
So just close your eyes, son
And this won't hurt a bit
Well, things are pretty lousy for a calendar girl
The boys just dive right off the cars
And splash into the streets
And when she's on a roll she pulls a razor
From her boot and a thousand
Pigeons fall around her feet
So put a candle in the window
And a kiss upon his lips
Till the dish outside the window fills with rain
Just like a stranger with the weeds in your heart
And pay the fiddler off till I come back again

I swear this is not turning into a music blog, I just have a very high affinity with music. (90%) lol. Plus the melodramatic me says I'm quite physically and emotionally drained. So I'll need to veg a bit until I can see pass myself and see what's happening around me again.


Music Invasion: "Total Eclipse of The Heart"

>> Wednesday, March 19, 2008

My latest obsession:

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never
coming round
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to
the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best
of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see
the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in you eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround bright eyes
Every now and then i fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes
Ever now and then i fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart
A total eclipse of the heart

I wasn't aware that there is a second verse or even a third verse, anyone know how it was came to be? Um... nevermind.


Sipping on Sizzurp

Intentionally or unintentionally I have started ignoring text messages from Medic Guy. The "I miss you"s or "Thinking of you"s don't do me any good, and i figure if he really needs me he would call or come see me. I understand that he will not change but hoping I would accept his ways. I'm not sure I can do that so eventually we will be apart but I have yet to have the resolve to break up with him.

I have been having this cough for two weeks, I went to the doctor last week and he prescribed me some antibiotics that didn't do me any good, so I went back today for another console. He prescribed me some promethazine with codeine and ask me to get a chest X-ray just in case it's pneumonia. I took some after lunch and was just told that codeine is related to Opium and Morphine, it makes you sleepy. I can feel it now, the sweetness of sleep is taking over me. One can get addicted to this feeling. In fact, I just found out people mix this medication with Sprite and it's called Purple Drank or Sizzurp.

Sweet codeine, let me fall asleep, take my pain away.



>> Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I thought love should be easy. When two people have feelings for each other, expressing the feeling should be the most difficult part of the deal. Why should there be so much more other hurdles?

I thought we were going to spend a weekend together and go to a few museums, and as always there are errands to run. So Medic Guy spent Friday night with me and then left Saturday morning for some home improvement tasks. He said he'll be back at night, but come late evening he called and said he needs to attend Sunday mass for Palm Sunday. He said he'll be over Sunday, but come Sunday night I called to a half awake Medic Guy claiming he somehow fall asleep while folding clothes around noon. He's very apologetic but he can't come over anymore because his grandma is home alone. Of course, I can't understand how a person claims to love me but don't want to be with me.

I confronted him and say that it is simply not enough for me to see him once a week. I was ready to break up with him during the weekend but we did have a good time out Friday night. He claimed to understand and said he was trying really hard but I don't know how he tried if nothing has changed. I'm pulling myself from this relationship slowly, while a text message or an email will pop up every once in a while beeging me not to dump him or saying how much he wants me and misses me. I'm confused, these mix messages are killing me. What good does "missing me" do? I'm not a porcelain vase, I don't need to be admired from afar. But then I don't have the heart to dump him. I could always say one more time of this bullshit and it's over, but I don't want to monitor his behavior until he messed up, neither he or I can live like that.

He keeps on saying "It'll be hard but we'll make it work.", I thought love would be easy. The line of sanity and insanity is getting blurrier. Maybe I should listen to his reasoning and believe what he told me is true. That everytime it's time for us to meet, there are always reasons to explain why we can't. But still, I wouldn't be able to want him less. I feel lonelier than when I'm single. I can't live like this.

Why can't things be simpler?


The Country That Never Learns

>> Monday, March 17, 2008

Reading 8Asians and Watching BBC, there are a lot of mention of recent development of China. With the approaching Olympics and their vibrant economy, China has become the focus of the world. Understandably, some people cease this opportunity to voice their opinions of the country.

Tibet has always seen themselves as being invaded by the Chinese government. Their spiritual leader Dalai Lama, has long fled to India and settles in the US. The Chinese has named a new Lama to control Tibet but was rejected due to religious lineage. The Tibetian has been waiting for an opportunity to take back control of their own territory. Protests and riots can be seen on the street of Lhasa, police cars has been set on fire, stores owned by Chinese have been destroyed and people who look more Chinese than Tibetians have been beaten up.

Instead of using tact and showing people how great a nation China is, they are using violence. The Chinese are not letting journalists to go into Tibet to report what is actually happening. It is more like a "Close the doors and beat your kids" kinda deal. While I'm all for beating your own kids, I draw the line when the kids start dying. Unofficially, 80-100 deaths so far has been estimated. It's Tiananmen all over again.

Add to that, no protests will be allowed en route of the Olympics torch relay. The air of Beijing is so polluted that the athletes are considering wearing breathing masks. That is, if they show up at all. Lots of them might just not show up for health reasons or in protests for human rights, violence in Tibet and loads of other reasons. It is a shame for a country with such rapid economy development to stay behind at so many other departments. Instead of admiring what China has to offer to the world, now athletes will have the violence in Tibet, the lack of human rights, media censorship, lead in children's toy, and the pollution in the back of their minds.

At least in the US, if you don't like the person in charge you can wait for their turns to expire or die. In China, there are a whole group of old folks and when they do die, there are tons others just sitting there. Nothing ever change.

"Welcome to the 2008 Beijing Olympics! We'll beat you if you don't behave!"


I'm Not Your Bitch, Bitch!

>> Sunday, March 16, 2008


Going Nowhere

>> Saturday, March 15, 2008

I remember during high school, I was asked a question in regards of relationship: If you have to rank the importance between Love, Family and Friendship, how would you rank? During that time, I said friendship comes first, love second, family third. For me, family is annoying, love is a concept and friendship is what I had, I chose those people to be friends with, while family is something forced upon me. My sex-starved hound dog friend SW said love first, family second, friendship comes last, and best friend CY have a very supportive family said family first, friendship second and love third.

Of course, this is just another meaningless thing for kids to ponder and what you choose have very much to do with how you were brought up and what your hormone level is in that particular moment. Priorities changes in different stages of our lives and sometimes there is no first, second or third. And then other factors come along like work, sex, financial security and the meaning of family redefines from people who brought you up to your own wife and kids. I think over the years, love has become more and more important to me.

Medic Guy has sent me a very loving message, saying how he was sorry about not being able to be with me the whole week due to his ear infection and that he loves me and wouldn't want to lose me for anything. And as unforgiving as I could be I wrote an angry email saying how he might not be ready for a relationship and that I don't want to compete with the other elements of his life because I know I will not always be in his priorities and I don't want to feel rejected, and that I don't really know where this relationship is going but I didn't send it.

After he came over, we had a talk. Nothing conclusive. He said he'll try to make time to see me despite his schedule but he doesn't know where we are going either. I asked whether he want to eventually be together or live together and he replied it is too early to say. I was determined to break up with him this weekend if we can't work something out but undeniably there are deep feelings between us. I'll try to work through it and see.

Sorry to whine so much.


The Most Evil TV Show in History

>> Thursday, March 13, 2008

Speaking of ill will, much like I believe Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is a TV show with good intentions and often good results, I believe that the new Fox show Moment of Truth is a show aimed for nothing but bad.

The basis of the whole show is for a contestant to answer 21 questions truthfully to win $500,000. Not trivia questions to prove intellect, but personal embarassing questions that can potentially break a family or a marriage apart. As the contestant prepares for this show, family and friends of that person are interviewed to scratch up dirty little secrets that the family has and a list of questions are compiled and the contestant will be asked of these questions while attached to a lie detector. And then 21 questions from this list will be chosen for the actual on-air taping.

The game is divided into 6 different levels, each levels with one less question but more and more personal. The first level consists of six questions that is usually work related like "Have you ever stole money from your job?" and these are as impersonal as it gets. As the levels progress "Things like have you ever slept with you wife's sister?" or "Do you think your in-laws are better parents than your own mom?" are asked, and rest assure that your wife or your mom will be seating right in the audience awaiting your response.

The show runs on the premise of being truthful as common people like myself mistakenly values truth above all. But you can see as the contestant struggling to answer each and every single question in front of vultures of an audience that want to hear more and more dirt from someone they hardly know. And then when you look at the contestants family, you can see their heart breaking apart more and more. You are practically selling your family and loved ones out for how much? $25K? $100K? Don't they know why money can be spent, they will stuck with their family members their whole lives?

Don't get me wrong it is extremely entertaining, it triggers the schadenfreude in me and I will be watching this filth as long as they are on the air. But you can almost feel the evil sip through the tv screen and enters your living room. Nobody really gains froma a show like this and the dirt while very juicy, is about a person that nobody knows, so what's the point?

Here's the now-famous dumb bitch, um I mean Lauren, destroying her marriage right in front of a TV audience:

Maybe politicians should enter this test before they can become elected officials.


Harbor No Ill Will

>> Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Mr. Big: "You see the thing is: she can get ahold of me but I can't get ahold of her."

Aidan: "That's fucked up."

That's exactly the way between me and Medic Guy.

Ever since we started dating I have managed to get him on the phone once. Other than that we communicate mostly through texting and he calls me about once or twice a day and the conversation is mostly short. We spend more time apart than together, there is the busy and important medic job, there is the grandma with Alzheimer's that need to be taken care of which the irresponsible sister can't manage, there is the grandmother's hospital visits, there is the pregnant cousin, the dog that chews up pillows when he's away, his own doctor's visits and evaluations, the antibiotics that makes him tired, the job that makes him tired, the job interviews and I wonder how I could compete with all that.

I guess I have been practicing the "lesbian" kinda love for too long and I have no recognition what normal courting looks like. As unhealthy as it sounds, I'm after the smothering, spending-every-waking-moment-together kinda love and I don't think Medic Guy can provide that. (Or maybe no normal people can) Actually my exes are all quite independent from their own families and manage to move in with me rather quick.

After getting back together with him after being apart for a week, I made an effort and got him a drawer and some clothes for changing so he can spend more time with me instead of going home because he doesn't have clothes to change, but I guess that only solves part of the problem. I tried to be less skeptical and believe that he is really not feeling well with that serious ear infection, but he just went to some job interviews and got a brand new job at a hospital the opposite way of where I live. I am increasingly doubtful on how this would work. Sadly, I have consciously stop saying the 'I love you's.

Of course I have my doubts on this since the beginning, but when it is my own problem it is hard to see it objectively. And I want to make sure it is not me, that I'm not sabotaging myself. I still want to wait a few more weeks, especially when we planned on a mini vacation at the end of this month. Maybe things would change for the better. The new job he got would give him a shorter, much stabler schedule, but then still wants to work part-time as a flight medic at his current location and his family and dog would still be there. I don't think I can win either way but maybe I'm driving myself crazy by thinking too much, maybe normal couple don't see each other every single day or even every other day, maybe I'll win the lottery tonight and none of us have to work anymore.


PSP Revelation

>> Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I finally caved in and bought myself a PSP. I swore I wouldn't, I told DC not to get me one the X'mas before last because I know that it will consume all my time. But I got one anyway, which I took it as a bad sign because I really shouldn't have that much free time since I just got myself a new boyfriend. But that topic would need to be reserved for another post.

SL is a kid 10 years younger than me who really, really wants me. But as flattering as it is, he is 10 years my junior, skinny as hell and I don't want to feel like a pedophile. The whole mentioning about SL is because he lives in NYC and we hung out the weekend before last, going to Mitsuwa yet again, I just friggin' love that place, and as we were en route to Mitsuwa he was playing with his PSP. One of my guilty pleasures is strategic computer games; I love RPGs, MMORPGs, tactics... etc, and one of the common interests I have with SL is Yu-Gi-Oh!

I should really feel ashamed, since I'm 30-something now and I can't possibly waste my time on games. I should be obsessing about the stock market, plans for my retirement and such, but no, no inkling on those life-changing topics but games. Yup, I'm still spending money on things that doesn't matter, investing time into voids. Well, since I got the game on Sunday afternoon, I have spent at least 16 hours on it learning the rules and such. I took yesterday off from work, partly because there's an overwhelming feel of sadness around the topic of Medic Guy, I'm coughing, I don't like being at my job and because I got a new toy.

Last night, while staying up until 2am playing my PSP, I kinda have a revelation about how a waste of time games are. I hope it will inspire me to quit them and do something else more productive, like knitting or something else that I have something to show for. I wish I have learned that lesson before I spent $3-400 on it.


My Six Quirks

>> Monday, March 10, 2008

1.Link to the person who tagged you.
2.Post the rules on your blog.
3.Share six non important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4.Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5.Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Alrighty then. Yes, Toni. I'll play. ^^

My quirks:

1. If possible, I rather stay home all day.
2. My favorite place to go when I'm outside is the supermarket.
3. If possible, I would wear the same pair of pants all week and it's possibly because I was brought up wearing uniforms.
4. My shirt and pants ratio in my wardrobe is about 7 to 1, which is somewhat intentional. (I don't think people pay attention to the lowrer half of the body of other people, at least I don't)
5. I usually don't buy a new pair of shoes unless one of my old pairs in breaking apart.
6. I don't want to learn how to drive because I'm afraid I might accidentaly kill someone.

Um... I just realized that I'm slowly turning into Sean Connery in Finding Forrester. Scary...

Since everyone who reads my blog has already been tag one way or another. I'll make this voluntary.


Old Love, New Love

>> Saturday, March 08, 2008

Ever since I've taught Principe to text me over the phone from Argentina, he has been doing so frequently. Apparently the economy down there has been quite bad and he has been unemployed ever since he went back in September. I have sent him a package for X'mas with some money that he desperately needed. But as much as I love him, I can't really do that forever. He texted me the other day saying that he might go to Spain and find a job there much like the way he came to the States and work illegally. While that is really not the best way to make a living, I can't fault him for trying to provide for his family. He has a sister working in Spain now and maybe her sister can help him along. He asked me if he can borrow money from me to get a flight ticket to go over Madrid. Not to be heartless but since the dollar has been going down, a roundtrip flight ticket will cost nearly $2,000, although he offers to pay me back it is not an amount that I can pull out of my ass easily. And we do need to get a roundtrip ticket, because if he only get an one-way, they would never let him in. As bad as it sounds, Principe is still the love of my life but I understand it is becoming a distant memory, one that still haunts unfortunately.

I have decided to give Medic Guy another chance, I know it might not be the wisest thing I've ever done but I've done dumber things. I like to believe that he's sincere and truthful, maybe it is really me who has trust/commitment issues, maybe I'm the one who looks for the first sign of how this relationship wouldn't work and run away. I'm trying to change that and put some effort into it. Medic Guy is the skinniest guy that I've ever been with, he doesn't even have pecs which I find to be the sexist part of a guy but he's endearing in his own way. We're still feeling thigs out and testing boundaries, I just know that I'm happier when I'm with him. I even changed from wearing briefs to boxers knowing that he likes guys who wears them. (Too much information?) What I wouldn't do to please my boyfriend?

Medic Guy also makes me worry a lot. Due to his work, he has to be in the helicopter a lot and somehow he ended up having a major ear infection and his left ear drum got torn. He has been getting these headaches and although his doctor will be able to fix it with a minor surgery, he'll have some loss of hearing for the rest of his life. It also sounds like he comes with a whole lot of family baggages, we're planning a small vacation at the end of this month. We'll see how that goes.

Love drives me crazy sometimes, I wonder if it's better to be drama-free like a monk. Are enlightenment and love polar opposites?


1943 Guide to Hiring Women

>> Friday, March 07, 2008

My colleague DV is an older female educator that has a similar sense of humor than mine. We always joke around and when she sent me this reprint from Savvy & Sage magazine, I laughed so hard I almost have Vitamin Water squirt out of my nose:

The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine.

This was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II.

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled the point. The important things are now to select efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.

Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young unmarried women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of the time the fact a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slow up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient is she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

It is so wrong, I can't even imagine that it is appropriate at its time. DV's favorite one is #3 because her doctor says she's obese. My favorite is a toss up between #6 and #8. Women are so helpless without the direction of men and who doesn't need time during the day to reapply lipsticks, really?


Cheerful Designs

>> Thursday, March 06, 2008

Since Toni, Francesco and Francois has recently changed their websites up, I figured I can be a cool kid too. So here's the new look for my website, it will require further tweaking, maybe changing of the picture and the colors a bit. If I don't screw the HTML up or get too lazy, maybe the look will change again within the week.

Stupidly, my side bars materials didn't get transferred. So I tried to remember all my links and input them one by one back into the blogroll. If I'm missing anyone, please forgive me and remind me to add you on the comment section. If you don't want to be on my blogroll, too bad... It's really not up to you. lol

Yesterday was the finale for Project Runway, I was rooting for the small kiebler elf, Christian before seeing the whole runway show. He does has the most talent and potential out of the three finalists. Watching the show with my online buddy Frank, we both though Rami's collection is the best because it waws very marketable and wearable and we thought he would win if the judges pull those criteria out of their asses like they did before. But they didn't and Christian won! This episode is honestly the best episode of Project Runway ever. Although Victoria Beckham looked like she was made out of plastic and her skintone, outfit and forehead was all too scary, but the designs that come out of the contestants were fantastic. Best season yet.

Here are my favorites from Jillian:

My favorites from Rami:

And my favorite from Christian:

Given, Christian's collection was costume-y, the pieces were either black or with feathers or black with feathers, but it is the most artistic collection through the whole show. Like he said "It was fierce!" To think that I have to wait another 9 months for the next season is unfathomable.

And doesn't he look like he belongs in a Harry Potter movie?

P.S. I've been to the WB studio in LA and met "the sorting hat" and he said I was a Hufflepuff. What the hell does that mean?


Movie Review: Juno

>> Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I have finally seen Juno. I was thinking about going to see this movie for a long, long time and I'm glad I did. Since it has been out for such a long time and everybody pretty much know the storyline (plus I'm lazy), I won't go into much details, but I was really impressed with Ellen Page.

Young Ellen Page has a very natural way in portraying a pregnant teenager, probably because she is a teenager herself, but she also has quite a resume to her back. One of the most memorable apperance is Kitty Pride (Shadowcat) in X-Men III. I can see why she was nominated for Best Actress during this year's Oscar.

For me, the best movie is always the ones with a simple, interesting story with good writing and Juno achieved that. I'm sure it'll come out with a DVD before we know it. Go and rent it if you haven't seen it yet. It's a breath of fresh air. It's full of funny, witty quotes and it seems that they could easily be transformed into an amzing sitcom. And all the eccentric little songs in the movie are charming and adorable, I want the soundtrack! B+


Drag on Steroids

>> Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Feeling lazy and don't want to write about Medic Guy yet, so here!

Chris March
, dubbed adoringly by the RunGays as "Sissy Bear", has great talent in costume designing as shown here:


And especially here:

The costumes are simply brilliant, he designed the complete thing with each individual hair style that goes with it and his expressions in the pictures are priceless. He might not have won Project Runway, but he got the love from the gays for sure. Whoever can design things like this deserves love and respect, I say.


Gotta Have My Soaps

>> Monday, March 03, 2008

Ok, you guys can make fun of me all you want but I'm gonna try to open up a bit despite how easily embarrassed I can be. I have a very strange soap habit, ever since I can remember I have loved bar soaps. Our family has always been one of the disgusting kind which the whole family from the eldest to the youngest everyone uses the same bar of soap to shower.

In my very tiny studio apartment, I don't have space to stock much but you better believe soaps and shampoos are one of the things that takes up places. It's nothing manic, there are about 20 to 30 bars at my place. And it's not like Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets either, I don't have OCD (not noticeable anyways) I don't use them once and throw them away. The most unusual thing would probably be putting them in my dresser to make my clothes smell good.

Growing up my favorite ones were Zest (very refreshing and always manage to wake me up for school) and a Chinese brand called Bee & Flower their soaps comes in Sandalwood, Jasmine and Rose scent and they are available in most Asian markets. Olay and Dove were pretty good too, they have extra moisturizing benefits.

B&F Soaps

I used to use this round soap from Body Shop that has these seaweed bits in it for scraping dead skins off your body and it smelled really good, but they stop manufacturing them. It's really too bad, both me and the sales person loved it. Right now my resident soap is Tom of Maine's Calendula, I used it for the past 5 years, I think the smell just oozes out my pores naturally now. It's around $4 a bar at Whole Foods. But I've just discovered another series of soap that took my breath away - South of France French Milled.

South of France - Lavender

I have actually kept them in my dresser for the longest time and I opened one the other day for a change of pace, lavender, and I am in love with it. It is really silky, but the thing that got me most is the smell, after using it I understand what aromatherapy means. It's intoxicating. South of France also carries soaps with other exotic aroma like pineapple, lychee, almond and mango. I got some and put it in my dresser, I wonder if they will attract bugs though. At $6-7 a bar, they are not cheap, but it seems like I just found a website that sells them for half the price. I wonder if that would work.

It's the little things in life I tell ya...


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