Last Post of 2007

>> Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year Everyone!

Deborah Cox came to Philly for a special appearance at Pure. So last night me and my benny-friend RR decided to go and see her. Before that we stopped by a party hosted by one of his hag, lots of food, lots of people, lots of booze. It was a nice party. Most people who are there are older folks who lived next doors. Seemingly successful people too. A writer/local news anchor, a major nationwide food distributor, a very young, attractive girl who's a microbiologist.

So after the party we went back to his place to drop off his car and took a cab to the nightclub venue. We arrived around 11:30 and waited around for the show to start. I haven't been to Pure since it has become Pure. The space is quite nice. Since it is handled as a private club, they can open and serve liquor until the early mornings at 8 am and smoking is allowed. The show was supposed to start around 12:45, but it didn't start until an hour later. I went to the bathroom while I wait and found it very odd in which the urinals are in the middle of the room and people have to pee face-to-face. (Haha)

RR saw some friends and started dancing with them, I found a spot around the subwoofer and found it very stimulating. After a while we went up to the balcony and got ready for the show. It was supposed to start around 12:45 but it actually didn't start until an hour later. RR can't stop jumping up and down, with his small stature it really looked kinda funny.

Deborah Cox finally came out and did a 30-minute set: "Things Just Ain't The Same", "Up and Down (In and Out)", "House is Not a Home", and "Who Do You Love". And she came back for an encore with "Nobody's Supposed to be Here" and "Absolutely Not". I swore she looked at me during one of her songs. I went berserk when she did "Nobody's Supposed to be Here", I find myself jumping up and down like RR, waving my hands around, singing along and shouting "Oh my god!". I just can't believe my luck see her in person singing my favorite song of hers. Well, the whole club was pretty much doing the same, so I guess I'm less embarrassed. It was well worth the wait.

After she performed, RR and I decided to leave, but they weren't letting us go until Deborah got in her car. After we got out I saw her in her car and I still can't believe I'm so close to a celebrity. I was a dork and I actually bought some of her CDs the day before and hidden in my coat's pocket with a marker just in case I can get an autograph. (How old am I now...?) I walked back right next to her car and asked her bodyguard whether I can get them signed. He gave me a calm 'no.' and I left. (betch) And I'm kicking myself all the way home for not just knocking on her window and ask her myself. All the way, I keep saying to myself "You have to fight for what you want."

I had a great time still.


Movie Review: Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

>> Sunday, December 30, 2007

Tim Burton has always remain to be one of my favorite directors. When you go to a Tim Burton movie, you know it's gonna be one of those well-produced dark fantasy that deals with death or ghosts. If you like his stuff, you'll like Sweeney Todd.

Sweeney Todd is an adaptation of a musical written by the great Stephen Sondheim. It is originally from a 19th century urban legend about a barber who was wrongly imprisoned because a judge wanted to take his beautiful wife and keep her for himself. Sweeney escaped from prison 15 years later and come back to Fleet Street and take his revenge. Along the way, he met a thrifty Mrs. Lovett who makes meat pie downstairs. She offered her help and take care of the bodies by baking them into pies and selling them to customers. (In Hong Kong, we also have a similar urban legend that involves someone finding a finger in BBQ pork buns)

I'm actually pleased about the recent trend of musical adaptation to big screen movies ever since Chicago, but I'm also cautious. The singing or Renee Zellweger and Richard Gere had left a bad taste in my mouth(/bad note in my ears) and I have never heard Johnny Depp sing, but I knew that I want to see this movie. And it was good. It's not awkward because Johnny Depp is not trying too hard to be a singer like Renee. Maybe his role didn't call for a big performance number as in Chicago, it is more of a storytelling than a performance. The storyline, the staging, the mood is everything that I hoped for, plus I haven't seen the Broadway version so I was a bit surprised by the ending. Sure there's blood and gore, but we are in a slasher movie and they were all handled in a rather humorous way. I liked the movie. "A-"


The Somber X'mas Experience

>> Saturday, December 29, 2007

Part of the roof of my apartment came crashing doing on X'mas eve. It made for a great job that involves Santa and how heavy he must be, but I haven't found any present but the 20 lbs of debris. It happened around 2:30 am and I didn't sleep after that. I feel funny, out of sorts, and not because I'm scared that the ceiling might fall on me next time.

Since Principe has left, this is my first time being single but it is also the first X'mas and perhaps New Year in which I'm spending alone. I begin to understand why X'mas has the highest suicide rate. Not that I've thought about killing myself, but being alone around X'mas sucks.

I've sent out around 50 X'mas cards to my friends, family and colleagues alike and I've got a dozen of them. My aunt called to thank me, and told me she's not sending out X'mas cards this year because of the environment. I've never thought of it that way. While I love sending them out, it must have cost a tree or two to produce the cards I've sent. I think I'll still send them out next year.

Having sex with different guys is real fun, but I guess I need someone to be with. I need someone to love and I need to be loved. The politically correct will say that you shouldn't need someone else to complete you, you should be complete all by yourself. You shouldn't NEED someone. It's a WANT, not a NEED. But I don't feel complete. Next year if I'm still single, I'll surround myself with friends.


Is This a Sign?

>> Friday, December 28, 2007

When you have had sex with two guys in the same week with reversed names (e.g. Brian Kenny and Kenny O'Brien), is that the cosmics telling you that your whoring has gone too far?

Hey, at least I know their last names... lol


Merry X'mas Everyone

>> Monday, December 24, 2007

I was looking for a nice X'mas pic and stumbled upon this guy. I really like the urban feel of his stuff, I wish he sells them and I wish he sells them for cheap. (Coz' I'm poor, lol.)

Have a very merry X'mas, everyone. Love you all. (I'm so touchy, feely during this time of the year. ^^)


The Gay Card Squad

I joined a gay poker network online that regularly hosts real time games and I joined a game on Saturday. Not all Asians gamble, but a lot of gamblers are Asian. Don't ask me why. Back in middle school, some of my friends and me would get together to play Mahjong and Poker. Nothing big, just a little chump change to kill some time, but I'm out of practice. Of course who's not watching those poker tournaments on ESPN, there are heavy psychology involved in poker but I don't think I'm conniving enough to pull tricks off YET.

Most games are in rural areas, so there's not an option for me since I don't drive. This game happened to be along the train line. So I signed up for it, got the address and took the train over. I got so nervous for my first game. They seemed like a friendly group, but I think I might have social anxiety and most of the time I don't know how to act in public, especially in front of strangers. The event posted as a BYOB, so I got some vitamin waters. It also mention that sometimes people bring chips and dips. So I was thinking if I should get something else. Champagne sounded festive, but what if people blame me bringing alcohol when they lose? So I opt for a big tub of honey cashews. But when I'm get there people brought homemade cookies, and no one touched the cashews.

So I started playing, it's $30 buy in and they give you 300 points of chips. I guess people were testing my skills, since it's my first time and they don't know how good I am and my play style, they were kinda hesitant towards me. Plus, I'm Asian and lots of people are put off by people of another race. They are mostly in their 40s and 50s, all white. The place was actually a home and very nice looking one. I started by winning a few hands and then losing a little, and at the end I won a huge hands. So I ended up on the second place for the night. Won $38. I think it's not too shabby for the first time. But if you subtract the train ticket, the vitamin water, the nuts and the $5 buy in for pizza, it's really not that much. We started at 7:30 and finished up around 3:30 in the morning. I didn't expect that they were so dedicated and enthusiastic. I thought we would get done around 11:30, but I really had a good time. One of them lived around me, so he drove me home. Thank god, coz the trains had stopped running around 1:00 in the morning. I really had fun, hope they have games near me more often.


A Brilliant Friday

>> Friday, December 21, 2007

Today is the last Friday before X'mas. DC came to town to have lunch with me just to give me my X'mas gift. He was struggling to come up with something thoughtful, but I guess he couldn't come up with many ideas. He was gonna get me tickets to Kooza, knowing that I love cirque shows. But I told him that I don't know where I'd be when the time comes. I know I've been talking about moving to the SF bay, but I'll probably still be here. So he got me a gift certificate for Best Buy.

After getting back to the office, I got a package and, finally, 'tis my new phone. The Sony Ericsson K810i, with a 3.2 Megapixel Cybershot camera. I'm pretty happy with it so far. I still need to get a M2 memory card (probably from Best Buy, I have no humongous need for electronics, I wonder if they sell gift cards for other stores at Best Buy and if I can use a gift card to buy other gift cards).

Our boss let us out early, so I headed over to my phone company to get a sim card. Got a call from Principe, hooked up with a young hunk, ordered a pizza. Standard Friday night episodes, n'est ce pas?

Well, the pizza below is called a "Chicken Ranch Pizza". (Photo courtesy of my new phone, lol) It sounds disgusting but it taste very good. Cheese, chicken and ranch dressing. The flavor reminded me of salad-flavored Pretz. One or two slice of the pizza is quite enough, any more the ranch flavor would get too overpowering. But it's surprisingly good. Oh and I also got my new RL toggle coat through the mail, it looks very nice, it made me happy. I simply love it.

Merry Christmas to you all!


Wednesday Updates

>> Wednesday, December 19, 2007

- Spoke with Bookstore Guy again, and this time I made sure to get a respond. And turns out he already has a boyfriend. I managed to recover and made some small talk while getting another huge discount from him. I'm disappointed but hey good for him.

- Martha Wainwright's "Stormy Weather" is invading my head. I'm planning to play it on a loop until I drown it out. I should be able to accomplish this in 5 hours.

- The phone I ordered through ebay has yet to get here. But I'm confident that it'll be here within 48 hours if not complication arises. I'm still phoneless.

- The coat I ordered through ebay has disappeared. I won and paid for it 4 days ago, I have yet to receive any kind of communications from the seller. My blood pressure has since increased.


Music Review - Mary J. Blige's "Growing Pains" & Rufus Wainwright's "Rufus Does Judy at Carnegie Hall"

>> Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I'm ever so fond of Mary J. Blige, as the kids would say "She is fierce!" I was deeply in love with her "Share My World" album, but after she proclaimed no more drama, I'm lost. I love her because she can use her voice to ditch out emotional extremes, and how can you cry your eyes out when there's no drama?

There are 16 tracks in her latest album "Growing Pains". My favorite songs in the Album are her first single "Work That" and a song called "Just Fine." over all it is a decent album, but one can only listen to so many songs about relationship without becoming weary. After songs after songs of over complicated arrangement and beats that at times overpowers her voice, it can be quite numbing and mundane. It lacks opportunity to showcase her best attributes, which are her voice and its range. The direction of it has gone too hip hop and pop, and in my head I wish it would go more r&b and soul. Am I being too harsh? Sorry if I am. "C"

Recently I have heard a lot of my fellow bloggers going over the hills for Rufus Wainwright. Since I wasn't very familiar with the artist and I like to listen to new stuff, I bought his latest album when I saw it on display at Borders. "Judy at Carnegie Hall" is one of Judy Garland's best live performance ever caught on tape. I bought a copy when I first learned about her, so I was very impressed to see another artist to have the guts to do a song-by-song reenactment.

Rufus can sing, really well in fact, but there's something about his voice that sounds a little shallow like he is running out of breath. Other than that I fully enjoyed the 2-disc album. Support the gay artists, I say. There is something very charming about him, but the stunner of the compilation comes from his sister Martha and her performance of "Stormy Weather". Her voice is sultry enough to melt my heart. She pretty much stole the whole show with her brilliant performance. The crowd favorite, however, is still "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". I tell you we can never get over that song. "B+"


Music Invasion "Smell Yo Dick"

>> Sunday, December 16, 2007

The latest catchy jam... you might not want to play it if you're in public or in the office. (I'm warning you ahead...)

I'm just saying but... can I?


Ten Tiny Things Meme

>> Saturday, December 15, 2007

Nobody tagged me but it looks interesting enough, let's play...

1. When you were born, how much did you weigh?

According to my grandma, I was a big baby... I think around 9 pounds. (Does that sound right?)

2. What's you're sugar poison?

Good, melt-in-your-mouth white chocolate. Some white chocolate tastes like wax, but the good ones are to die for. Example of a good white chocolate: Green & Black's White chocolate bar with vanilla or Toblerone.

3. If you had to choose between meat and cheese for the rest of your life, which would you choose? Then be specific.

Meat, of course. I wonder who would choose cheese, vegetarians? Chicken is the most versatile meat but I love a good steak, I can live with beef for a long time. Beef jerky, roast beef and pastrami for sandwiches. Ground beef for meatballs, lasagna Bolognese sauce. New York Strip steak, T-Bone steak, Tenderloin. Am I being specific enough yet? I'm not a big fan of Filet Mignon, but I'll eat it.

4. What, is your opinion, is the worst song ever?

Macarena? because it's so mind-fucking-numbing... Well, I take it back. Anything by Ashley Simpsons is so much worst. Tie me up and play it in a loop and I'll bite my tongue until I bleed to death.

5. Who was your favorite teacher growing up and why?

Ms. Li in during Form 3 in my middle school (9th Grade?), she really did cared and she's the one who set me straight. I have utmost respect for her.

6. What personal activity, when performed in public, bothers you the most?

Flossing, ew... And also people who speak really loud to each other or having a conversation with people across the street... I have really sensitive hearing.

7. Ok, there's a $50 bill lying on the ground. You pick it up. Dumbfounded by your incredible luck, what do you selfishly purchase?

I do check if anyone else dropped it first. But I would buy whatever I wanted at that moment, groceries most of the time or CDs.

8. Do you have a recurring nightmare? If so, explain.

I have a dream where I am in bed like I just woke up, but I can't move. More often than not I would get in a panic and really stressed out trying to will my arm into movement. But sooner or later I'll wake up drenched in sweat realizing that was just a dream. I did some research online and it is something called "Sleep Paralysis". So when I have that dream again, I realized that it is just a dream and I can do what I want, so I started controlling my dream and did my favorite thing: I started flying. Once I "controlled" that dream, it never happened again. I cured my own sleep paralysis.

9. Name one place on Earth you've never been, but vow to visit at least once.

Greece, blue sky, blue sea, white houses, blue roofs, sandy beaches... I so want to be there. Tokyo, the most futuristic place on earth. Las Vegas, it's one of the place that you've got to go at least once and all the Cirque shows (I'm gay after all...) I also would like to revisit Amsterdam, Rome, Florence, Singapore and London.

10. You notice that question #9 wasn't really a question. You feel smart for catching such a small detail. What else can you do really well that reminds you how smart you are?

I didn't catch that actually, everything that requires an answer is a question, no? Just because it doesn't have a question mark, does it mean that it is not a question? Well, I'm really good at catching people who sing or play music out of tune. (Sensitive ears...) I'm good at math and I'm good at Boggle and Scrabble. (Bring it on, suckers!)


Cut Off From the Outside World

>> Friday, December 14, 2007

Tuesday I got a sorethroat when I woke up and it has developed itself to a full on cold. So I went to the doctor's yesterday, he said it is something viral and told me to stay home for the next few days which is great news for me. He didn't want to give me antibiotics because he says it'll do more harm then good. Well, okay. I wouldn't want to get anyone sick anyway.

On top of that I lost my cell phone somehow. I remember going out with it but somehow it did not reach the office. Since I don't have a landline at home, I'm completely in seclusion at this moment. My only link to the outside world in online. So no one can reach me right now. Of course, I got online and bought a new phone right away, a Sony Ericsson 800i. Opt for next day air so I can get it today and activate it right away. But I just got an email from them saying that the item is out of stock and in back order. Bugger.

I think I got the cold from the guy that I met on Monday, although he didn't seem to be sick. I'm supposed to see this really hot daddy type tonight for a drink and maybe more. I was looking forward to meeting him the whole week, but morally I should cancel or prospone that so I don't get him sick. Come tonight, we'll see who's doing the thinking, my dick or my brain.


Stalking Joe.My.God

>> Thursday, December 13, 2007

My newest obsessions are sex and Joe's blog. So forgive all the sex posts you've been reading. I can't help that I'm compulsive, I type what's in my head. The reason why I'm so obsessed about sex these days is the fact that I don't have nothing to do at work, my job has become meaningless, so I have tons of free time to browse around. Maybe I'm a perv but nothing is more interesting than naked men and the prospect of sex. How else can you build up your immune system? I've never been single since I've came out, too afraid to be alone. I guess that's why now I using sex in place of intimacy.

I used to have an office all to myself and I could bring my knitting kit to pass the time, but now it just seems awkward. It's time to find a new job or move out to the Bay Area out west to start life anew. I wanted to move a while back anyway.

I went to New York last Saturday to meet a friend up to have some fun. Ever since I've read Joe's stories I dreamt about life being a hunky muscle bear in New York. Going to parties and concerts, coming across interesting stories... It's very "Sex in the City". From reading his posts, I sorta identified with him and think to myself "What a great guy he must be." So on my way to New York, I'm imagining myself meeting him on the street and talking to him... (Can you spell S-T-A-L-K-E-R?) From reading his posts, I know his usual haunts and all and I've seen quite a few pictures of him (even naked ones...) They are not hard to find, just a few creative clicks and you're there.

At the end, the guy I was supposed to meet turned out to be a flake and I got discouraged and came home around 5 in the afternoon. I didn't want to hang around until 11pm at night for the bar scenes. Yes, a lot of people are flakes. They might start out talking you up about meeting you or stuff but when the time comes they ignore their phones and don't respond on the IMs. Some people just really know what they want or whether they want it or not.

After I got home, I read some older entries of Joe's posts and found out the reason that we can never be... lol. I can stand everything else, but TV has been my nanny and my best friend, it is not something that I can easily give up. However, the writers are on strike and the 200 movie channels that Joe has don't sound too bad right now.



>> Saturday, December 08, 2007

This is not a boy band... It's a bear band!


'Fucking' Therapy

>> Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Got an email from DesignerGuy last night apologizing because he thought I wasn't that into him, he thought I wasn't attracted to him sexually. I know that he's quite insecure, so I ensured him that I was indeed into him sexually. He then asked me for help because he was looking for the Wii game Guitar Hero III and could not find it online or any major stores that he's been. Being a gamer that I am, I feel that it is my duty to help other gamers and potential gamers. I looked online and they all say that it is indeed sold out and won't be out again until January. A late X'mas present would still be kinda disappointing.

So I called up my usual haunts and found out that they have some in stock. Called up DesignerGuy and we went to get the game before the store closes at 9:30pm. Then we went back to his place just to let him feel more secure about himself. If shopping qualifies as retail therapy, sex should be too. And it WAS good, sex wasn't the reason why I wasn't too drawn to Designer Guy. In the midst of it, he asked me to "speak Chinese". (Awkward...) He told me afterwards that he finds it sexy, but I always thought language is for communicating, if he didn't understand what's the point? And no, I didn't 'speak Chinese'. Maybe he's a bit offended, I didn't want to linger too long and he felt the same way.

When I was reading "How To Get Laid" by Jonathan Bass, I heard the proper etiquette for fuck buddies are just as such. Don't linger, don't offer meals, don't go out with him socially and don't compliment him too much. So you don't mislead each other for the potential of a real relationship and so nobody gets hurt. I understand that viewpoint but I guess I don't think it is in my nature to be able to feel so clear cut. For me, if we are having a sexual relation we should be able to be friends. We should be able to build a brotherhood through sex, I thought that's how people were in the 70s, before HIV/AIDS. Maybe I'm just reading too much information on polyamory and it influenced me a bit, but I feel like gay people has a chance on building a stronger community just by sleeping around. Haha!

*Eliot, I hope you're having a great time tonight with Bell Guy. Can't wait to read all about it. ^^


Killing Time

A friend e-mailed me this game. Let's see how far you can fly the paper plane. My record is 93.878m... That shows you how much free time I have. Haha


I Don't Speak Gay Fluently

>> Tuesday, December 04, 2007

OK, I finally got the courage to go back into the bookstore next door and talk to Bookstore Guy again. Well, I actually needed an excuse and X'mas shopping for DC and JEW provided that opportunity.

Before stepping in the store, he had already seen me coming through the glass windows. He smiled and I waved. He looked cute as always. We greeted each other and I proceeded to check out the merchandise. JEW likes architecture and recently went to the Frank Lloyd Wright house near Harrisburg with his family, but I couldn't find anything inspired by him in this Bookstore/Gift Shop. He also likes fine dining and I see some glass bowls around. I can't decide whether those artsy bowls are for punch or salads. I found some wood trays that are both rustic and elegant. But acording to my online friend Cubxotic's advice, I was supposed to ask Bookstore Guy about what he likes and start small talking him up.

And that's what I did. Bookstore Guy is cute and somewhat endearing. I think he's still in his mid to late 20s, he grew a beard since I've seen him last. Toughened it up a little but he looks a bit bookish and you'd kinda want to protect him when you look into his puppy dog brown eyes. I was asking about Frank Lloyd Wright, but he told me he doesn't have much stuf in his style. He led me to the tie section, which I saw a Philadelphia street map tie. (Yes, I live in Philly.) I owned a London street map tie of the same style and I thought they only do big cities. Then I mentioned that my buddies' boyfriend likes fine dining (Hint: They are gay therefore I'm gay...) and he pulled out a little leather journals with inserts for rating restaurants. Nope, I don't think anyone would need a journal for that. Using Cubxotic's line, I ask what would really impress him. He walked over a place where little credit card sized metal toy are hanging, he told me those metal sheets can fold into a 3-D figure of person driving a car or a person sitting in the office or on a hospital bed. It certainly impresses me, but I think JEW likes more practical stuff, so I eluded to the fact that I spotted some wooden cheese and appetizers trays earlier and he says "It's good to go with your first intuition."

There's a choice between light wood or dark wood, I let him choose for me. (But of course I liked the dark one better and I'm glad he did too, can you say "Control Issues"?) And he very delicately and skillfully taking the price tags off, bubblewrapping them and put them in boxes. He gave me a 20% discount again, which is like the employee discount. I don't know if it is because he liks me or because I've been a loyal customer. I casually asked what time the shop closes and working up the courage to ask more personal questions. After I paid and almost time to walk out the door, I asked him for his name, which I believe he already told me before. He says we'll probably see each other around the neighborhood: "You know how it goes." Meaning that he is gay and out. I said "With all the discount you give me, I should really buy you a drink sometimes." He said "Sure, I'm always here, you can stop by whenever you want." and as I was thinking on how we should exchange contact information he added "Although I'm usually running around a lot... thanks for the offer though". Was that a "yes" or a "no"?

I left puzzled. He showed sign that he likes me, but maybe he was just being an incredible salesman. There's friendliness and sincerity somewhere. Maybe he's taken? Anyway, maybe I'll see him in some random gay bar, some random night and I'll ask him in person.


Music Invasion: 12/04/07

1. "She's a Star" by Will.I.Am
2. "Valerie" by Amy Winehouse
3. "Uncle Jonny" by The Killers
4. "Bombay" by Timberland
5. "Please Don't Stop The Music" by Rihanna
6. "In My Mind" by Heather Headley


Discovering Joe.My.God

I have seen Joe.My.God's link on plenty of most of the blog I've read, so out of curiosity I went to his site and started reading. I'm now an instant fan. Comparing to my crap, his writing is superb. His blog has all the current gay issues as well as stories of his personal encounters and about life and adventures in NYC. I can't believe I can read them for free. He should really start consulting for LogoTV or other gay networks, his site is way better than CBS' attempt for gay news. (He's also hunky to boot)

I guess a lot of people subscribed to it already, I feel like such a country bumpkin sometimes.



>> Monday, December 03, 2007

This morning while I was walking to work, the block surrounding my office building was blocked because someone found a device in a nearby mailbox which they suspect might be a bomb. I called my boss and he told me to go home until he calls me back. It's not the first time things like this happened, since the district attorney's office is right around the corner and things like this usually turns out to be nothing, so I was most pleasantly surprised to find out that I can spent some time outside of the office. I desperately wanted a haircut during the weekend, but not desperate enough to actually walk out the door. So I'm quite thrilled to get the extra time. Maybe I'll start buying $5 watches from the street, wrap it around a brick and dump it into mailboxes around my work. It's way worth it.

As I was saying, the weekend was quite uneventful other than the date I had on Saturday night. In the spirit of my fellow bloggers, let's call this one DesignerGuy. I don't know why, but lately I have met couple of people online that seems to be very well off. Or maybe I'm just retarded in handling my finance, I usually blow money on useless stuff, I really should reexamine my finance and make a plan for my future. Anyway, DesignerGuy is a breed of gays that I haven't acquainted myself with before. I do not mean to stereotype or put people in different categories, but I wouldn't in a million years think that he'll be interested in me.

I have seen DesignerGuy's profile and he stated he likes Asian guys, but he's a bit on the pretty side and usually when someone says they like Asian guys, they mean they like those skinny, smooth, petit fem-bot type and I'm so not that. If I haven't described myself before let me do a bit of that right now. I'm 6 ft tall big, semi-hairy guy, with a full beard. I'm aspired to be a bear, a muscle bear if I have the choice but lately I realized that it is not so much of a choice. I've been described to be sweet, I am a people pleaser and since I've been going out much more, I have heard more people saying that I'm "Handsome", which is starting to boost my confident.

Well, DesignerGuy is a gym bunny type. He's blond, good looking, fit. So when I saw him on the street, I was pretty sure he won't be interested, since I'm not in shape like he is. So I looked away immediately, I usually avoid eye contact when I'm on the street, just minding my own business. That's what my family taught me anyway, it's an Asian "Don't want any trouble" mentality. He must have recognized me as well and sent me an email afterwards and we started chatting. Somehow he thought I was the one who wasn't interested.

I don't think I ever dated a gym bunny before, or anyone blond for that matter. I usually go for the tall, dark and handsome type. I usually like guys taller and thicker than me. As big as I am I'm still looking for protection, someone who can make me feel safe and stable. My friend describe my type to be "Gentle Giants", and I think it is quite accurate. DesignerGuy is not that, but I'm giving it a try because "how would I know I don't like it if I've never tried?"

He asked me to meet him at his place around 8pm, he only lives two block away from me but I left home a bit earlier because I was nervous. I was so nervous that I went to buy a chapstick for my dry lips and I hate chapsticks and moisturizers. His place was really well decorated as I expect it would be. Made some small talk, we planned to go out for dinner but we didn't make it out the door until 10pm. I swear I didn't initiated it, I'm not that kind of a girl. Hehe. DesignerGuy is not bony, you can see his muscle definition and all, but I haven't seen that small of a waist in an adult naked men before.

People who says they "like Asian" usually are older folks who are looking for a submissive partner, someone who's not as educated as them so they can impart their knowledge to their partner. They want to feel superior. They have a set of rules or a way of living set in stones and want their partner to follow those rules. Or they are broken in some way and thinks that those nice Asian boys wouldn't mind. I can see traces of these mentalities in my conversation with DesignerGuy. But it might just be because I'm prejudice myself. Don't get me wrong, I might still see him but I don't find that I have a lot in common with him and I already heard some disappointments in his voice when he finds out that I don't fit a lot of traditional stereotypes. Oh well, maybe we'll become fuck buddies. Who knows?


A Moment in Time

>> Sunday, December 02, 2007

Borrowed from IwateBuddy on Flickr

This morning as I was stepping out of my house to go get milk for cereal, I was greeted by a green-shaded-golden sidewalk lined by gingko leaves. On top of that, little sugar-crystal-sized ice was falling from the sky. The weather was cool and breezy but not freezing, it was somehow fantasy-like to be in my flip-flops stepping on leaf-stacks feeling the coolness on my feet. I'm sure it's an omen of sorts, although I have yet to figure out what it represents. I wish I still had my camera with me, so I can freeze this mental picture.


The Slut Syndrome

>> Saturday, December 01, 2007

I was reading Jonathan Bass' "How To Get Laid" because like I said before I don't have a clue on how cruising works and I need a book to teach me.

One of th chapters in the book mentioned in that there's is a time in every gay men's life that is called the Slutty Phase. The theory is that straight men get into dating and sex in a much younger age while gay men had to repress their sex life until they moved out of their parents' house. Being closeted retards the sexual and social development of gay men, so when the floodgates open we are so excited that we all become sluts. This phase could lasts for a year, and some people even get stuck being a slut that they become sexually addicted.

Of course somehow I feel better after reading this because since Principe is gone I have been on some kind of sexual rampage. I have never been single since I've came out and I have to say being alone scares me, so I'm using sex to get attention. (Wrong move?) Anyway, I can't denied that it isn't fun. Sex is fun.

And for a socially awkward person like me, dating is quite intimidating. Although I'm going to have a date tonight with a guy that I've seen online and we just saw each other on the street yesterday. I got an email afterwards and apparently he liked what he saw and scheduled a date with me immediately. Wish me luck.


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