I Love Too Easily

Gay Canto-Pop singer Anthony Wong has a song called "I Love Too Easily", and I do. No maybe not love, maybe I'm just easy.

Last Friday after Medic Guy has been MIA for 24 hours I went to see the Frida Kahlo show by myself. After feeling lonely texting Principe and all that, I have decided that I would somehow go out and get drunk by myself or not. I needed to act out because I felt tied down. Medic Guy had given me his schedule and I usually leave those days that he's off open, just in case he decided to come over but I realized then that it is a mistake and I felt stupid.

So after going online for a bit, a guy chatted me up and said that he's new in town and doesn't have much friends to go out with. I feel his pain, I only have a few friends in town and most of them don't like to go out much. So I suggested that we should go out to drink together. We talked, we drank and then we went back to his place. He seems to be a very nice guy and we seem to have great chemistry together.

Medic Guy came over Saturday and I didn't bring that up, but I brought up the fact that he disappeared for 24 hours in which he apologized and said he was just tired from work. I checked his cell phone that night and found out that he was seeing someone. Last straw.

He came out last night and we went out to do Dining Out For Life. I confronted him about the text messages and he told me that he was just joking with his friends and that they do that all the time while assuring me that there is absolutely no one else and that he loves me, with that cue he erased all his text messages in front of me as if erasing all the evidence. I find that peculiar but I let him be. The whole night I was debating and figuring out what I should do.

This morning I told him that I can't be with him anymore because I can't learn to trust him as much as I like to. He seemed dumbfounded and testing if I was being serious. After getting a sense that I was for real he packed some of his stuff and left and right before he left he told me again that there's absolutely no one else. I feel sad and responsible. Of course I have feelings for him, that doesn't change, but I can't be with him anymore. We are too different, it wasn't a good arrangement for a lot of different reasons.

It's time to move on.

I'll love whoever's near. Don't worry if you need to betray me. Don't need to be kind or feel sorry, I love too easily. - Anthony Wong