The Lady Who Cried For Me

Since my panic attack happened 3 weeks ago, I didn't feel particularly having to leave where I work on Tuesday. I have returned to my usual nonchalant self, which is good but bad; I really need to get on with my job applications. I also need to make a few more phone calls to see if I can get my severance in a relatively civil way. They are not really things that I enjoy doing, so my pace is set to slow.

After going out for a dinner with my excolleagues alike, they reminded me to cross my Ts and dot my Is, to write in some vacation slips even though it was understood that I need to take my vacations because they won't be paid for or else it might seem that I've gone AWOL. My colleague also told me that once I've left, a volunteer PM who was pretty close to me bursted out crying. Aw, that's so sweet of her. I didn't know anyone would care enough to cry for me. (I know I must have broke a few hearts along the line but this is different.)

For the 7 years of employment, PM has been volunterring with us for 5. She's this flail wiry older lady with the best work ethics. Pretty much everyone who's volunteering with us has HIV/AIDS and she's no different, and it's heartbreaking sometimes to see an already skinny lady wasting down further with each medication change. I try my best to bring her food and buy her lunch every now and then, so maybe she can gain pass 100 lbs. Honestly, how did I get to be twice her size, is that even possible? As entitled to disabilities and home life as she can be, PM refuses to stay home and insist on working really hard in our office. Sorting things here, writing a newsletter there, she told me that if there's nothing for her to do, it will drive her crazy and she likes to feel that she's useful. So more often than not, we'll find some mundane tasks to occupy her time and she has became the hardest working person in the office. If everybody can be as hard working as her, maybe the company would have stayed afloat. I once offered her an administrative assistant position so she'll get paid and benefits because she really deserves them. She refused because she thought she won't be able to handle it, but now she's there all the time.

Two years ago, she got cancer and underwent chemo. I visited her a few times and while I didn't think it was possible she got even skinnier.I was worried and everybody have their time of passing and maybe I'm justgenerally pessimistic because my prime example of cancer patient didn't survive, I try to avoid going deep into talking about death and diseases, so I got her a scarf for winter, a robe and a pair of slippers for X'mas. But what do you know? After the chemo, PM sprung back up just as her usual tough self; getting healthier each day, gaining appetite and eating more than usual. Now she's working as hard as she's ever been.

I wish nothing but the best for her. She's a good person, a good honest old fashioned hard working person, the kind that believe by doing good, good things will happen to her. I admire that and she does deserve good things happening to her.