In A Corner Of My Mind

[Original Posted on October 14, 2006 8:00pm EST]

I called my boyfriend Principe Rana not because he's green or anything, It's because his initials are FRG and he's my prince. So I need to knit my first scarf for the knitting class and I chose to do a frog-prince-themed scarf. They let us chose a color for the project and I chose dark brown, because I really like that color, but I also bought a bright red and an ivory white for some edges and graphics. I made a smiley face for my last project and when my classmates saw it, they were oohing and aahing. I have to admit that it felt good. But of course there were also some that got jealous.

So I was designing the graphics on excel at work and got a pretty nice result and all the sudden a tune were playing in the back of my head. It's amazing how one's mind works. My head starts playing a song called "Frog Prince (青蛙王子)" in Cantonese that I've heard when I was around three. It's a lullaby sung by a teenage girl that I used to idolize when I was in kindergarten. Of course, I've forgotten her name. We called her big sister something, but I'm very surprise that I can still remember this tune and some of its lyrics.

Last time when I went back to Hong Kong to visit, I found that tape inside one of my grandma's cupboard. She never throws anything out. Along with it I found a tape that recorded a rendition of a Chinese song called "Won't Go Home Tonight (今天不回家)" sung by my mom and her sisters. It was very funny, I think that made the tape when they were young. In the back of it I can hear my grandma saying something or maybe she was singing along as well. Sometimes I think about my mom and think of what would happen if she hasn't died of cancer. Would I have turned out any different? Would life been any easier? She's a Leo and she's the type of women that fights for what she wants and most of the time she gets it. She got heart broken when my father dumped her for a Polish woman named Barbara. My grandma was convinced that she died of a broken heart instead of cancer. Somehow I think it's a good thing that she passed away, who wants to keep fighting all their lives anyway? At least now she can rest. I'm sad that I think about my mom less and less these days, but she's still stay permanently somewhere on a corner of my mind.

I went to Montreal two year ago with DC and I was surprised how much French still remained inside of my head. I haven't used French ever since my mom got sick when I was 10 and we left Paris and go back to Hong Kong so my grandma can take care of my mom. And yet after 20 years of abandonment, somehow it resurfaced and I was able to communicate with Quebecois who don't speak English. I have no idea where it comes from. Like they say it's like I pulled it out of my ass or something. If there's a chance, I would love to learn French all over again, I would hate to see that goes to waste.