Mahjong Miscellany

I regard Mahjong as a social game, when I was growing up I attended hundreds of games alongside my grandma. She usually starts her day with an early mountain hike that might involve all some sorts of group Tai Chi or other slow martial art exercises, followed by a group dim sum, then finishing grocery shopping right before noon. The Mahjong games start around 1pm almost everyday. I remember listening through the coordination phone calls on who she will play with and who she won't play with, a lot of bickering and bitchery in display. This one plays too slow and that one is a cheat, but all in all I believe in the relationship building aspect of Mahjong; much like the ladies in Joy Luck Club, where over hot tea and snack these old men and old ladies would usually gossip and discuss about the most recent topics and deepen their friendships. Hence, I always associate a positive feeling with Mahjong and it is a fun and complicated game regardless.

So I have been attending these games every weekend, with SV, his best friend and his wife A&Y, student couple M&Y, their friend GL, Gay Luck Club member BY and me. Eight of us altogether, just enough for two tables. Occasionally, a few of us will be busy and either they'll find replacements somewhere or shrink it into one table with alternative players. The details might be a bit complicated and besides the point so I'll spare them.

My friend SV has quite the addictive personality, he can play tennis for a whole day until he gets a full body muscle spasm, he once eat an entire box of oranges in front of us (15~20), and when we play Mahjong with him, it's usually at least for 8 to 10 hours. Once he pleaded to stay over at A&Y's so we can play again in the morning for another whole day. We are all young, fun-loving and we all love the game, so it doesn't present too much of a problem.

The problem is SV's competitiveness and his need to produce drama, it's rubbing me the wrong way. He's a bit loud, obnoxious, aggressive, competitive, self-centered, inconsiderate but desperately seeks approval. I can't decide whether I should dismiss them for him not having the Asian qualities or lump them for him being stereotypically gay hence the drama-queendom comes with the territories, at times I thought he's trying to see how far he can push and still getting away with it. Maybe I value kindness and humbleness too much and he acts quite the opposite of who I am, it's especially hard to be with someone that I find offensive for 8 to 10 hours at a time. But I do believe the reason for SV's success and wealth comes from his personality, and given my career status, maybe I should try and act more like him.

All I can do is to help him with his Mahjong etiquette by grumbling and complaining every now and then which I dislike doing at all. I seemed to remember a pencil stabbing in junior high with a classmate who acted similarly, but I'd like to think I've grown up quite a bit since then. I reckon that next time when the Mahjong crew calls, I'll get all Alzheimer and forget all about these feelings like nothing had ever happened anyway.

***

On my way back from another day of Mahjong with GL, we have began to talk quite a bit about our past and came to find out that we have very similar backgrounds. We are both only childs, and came to the states about 10 years ago and we are both in the IT field. While discovering that my family are all overseas and I am in the States all by myself, GL said the nicest thing anyone had said to me for a long, long time: "Then you should hang with us a lot more." I don't know why I was so touched by that particular phrase, but then I too must have wanted approval myself and the sincerity and the frankness that comes along with it was very comforting and refreshing. Maybe approval seeking is why people buy Hummers and what moves commerce and the basis of every relationships.

I guess I should be nicer to SV, even though he IS annoying doesn't mean that he's not a good guy.