The Importance of Looking Good

I notice lately that people become disappointed with me when they find out that my voice is not as deep as they expect it to be. Strange really, I think because I got a beard they expect that I have a tenor voice and when i come out and spoke with my normal asian geek voice, they become a bit disturbed.

That happened in the supermarket the other day, the cashier had a smile on when she saw me coming up to her isle and asked "Paper or plastic?", but when I responded she got an immediate sad look on her face like I killed her puppy. Maybe it's because I said "Plastic bag is fine.", maybe she wanted me to say paper. But I don't think this is the first time that I noticed that. Don't get me wrong, I'm gay but I don't think my voice is in any way effeminate. Maybe it's my tone or the wording I use? I don't lisp. Maybe in some way, I turned myself into a lady, subconsciously dragging myself out.

I'm tired of being the same way, I need to really make up my mind and go to the gym religiously. Maybe I'll get hooked on it once I see some result. They say you'll eventually become the person you want. I know even in this stage, I don't really want myself. I need to go to the gym and lose the weight and invest on an entire new wardrobe. I have seldom pay attention to how I look before but lately I learned that it is really important to look attractive not only to attract but to feel better about myself as well, but then I would need to lose serious weight first.