The Cheese-Filled Day, Pt. 2

5:00pm - Picked up another set of buttoniers after Y plead and stuck a $100 dollar bill in my pocket before rushing off from the Art museum. Me and the 4 bridesmaids were the only people there in the restaurant. We thought there would be Mahjong at the restaurant as in every other banquet but apparently we were wrong. A's dad rented a separate place for it, but the girls deemed the place to be a little complicated and refused to go. We're not saying it's triad owned but it's not that far apart. They are all trembling under the air conditioning, one of them asked me if they can use my jacket and then started sniffing after I handed it to her which I thought it was rude.

6:00pm - Helped with setting up and carrying cases of Remy Martin to the banquet hall. I'm starting to get pooped. Thank god two familiar faces came up, my recently turned best buddy BL and a very nice and charming girl WJ whom I've met once before came over. I'm so relieved, I immediately switched seats.

7:00pm - We're starving and the fruit plate, the cookie plate and the candies are not helping much. More people got there but the hall is just half filled. Since the invitation said 7:00pm, I've decided that everybody else coming in from that point are late and we should start the banquet without them.

7:30pm - Still starving. I suggested that we might want to get a bowl of wonton noodle soup around the corner and then come back later. BL countered by saying it could start soon and we don't want to miss the first few courses.

8:00pm - I'm famished and started to wonder if I can find some prosciutto somewhere to wrap around the melons. it won't be much better but at least I'll be entertained and feel somewhat proud of myself.

8:20pm - Finally the MCs of the night started to get people to sit down and introduced the families of the bride and groom to some kinda house music. And the bride and groom came in. We clapped and cheered. Apparently the father of the groom is quite famous amongst the Chinese community and the mother of the bride works at the restaurant. So the owners and everybody else who's someone in Chinatown got introduced as VIP guests. The owner of the restaurant gave the groom a gold plaque and the bride a huge jade pendant and a huge pearl pendant. It's a bit My Big Fat Chinese Wedding-ish. I was waiting for the car and the deed of a house to come out, but no. I was wondering why they can't serve us food and talk at the same time.

8:40pm - Finally food. I was expecting loud cheesy traditional Chinese music and there it was. SV's family was supposed to come but they are running an hour late, BL and me cheered at the thought that we can have huge portions of the dishes before they arrived. We each got 3 huge deep fried stuffed crab claws. BL had 4 beers and hid our Remy Martin under his chair. Apparently he's a lush and we have no shame.

9:00pm - We're not the only people who have no shame. Apparently people think it's alright to sing to the married couple as a sign of their good will, even though they can't freaking sing and I have sensitive ears. One of the MC in a yellow dress works as an entertainer for weddings and all, and she sings so out of tune. And then all the relatives and friends went out one by one and sing -- badly.

9:30pm - I'm enjoying the shark fin soup and covering my ears between sips. I can still hear everything perfectly because the speakers are way loud. I feel like I was being slapped every time someone sing out of tune or mispronounce a Chinese character.

10:00pm - SV's family arrived, I stuck the last piece of squid down my face. The yellow dress MC is singing and doing the twist and she started another song by screaming Everyone Let's Cha-Cha, BL and I have decided that she's fierce and we must have her! The way she's smiling is just unnatural, no one can pull out that brainwashed grin, not even the little girl in the Olympics who lipsynched.

10:15pm - The yellow dress MC started playing games with the groomsmen and the bridesmaids by dancing the chicken dance and the macarena with her extra hyper happy face. The bride yelled for me and BL to go out. I pretend I didn't hear her, BL waved and smiled.

10:30pm - I'm stuffed. The wait staff are handing out boxes and bags and SV's family is wrapping every dish up. I barely got a taste of the rest but I figured I have had the ones that I really wanted. There should still be half a dozen of dishes coming out but they have started singing karaoke again and I don't think it's worth staying and get tortured by the sounds. BL reminds me of the delicious braised noodles at the end and I sighed.

10:45pm - How come there are no eye candies around? SV came by half drunk all shit-faced. He's usually very dark and tanned, but somehow he managed to turn a purplish color.

11:00pm - Finally it's over. I really wanted to take the fried rice home but SV's brother got it from underneath me. We took the bottle of Remy though. A line is forming to take pictures with the bride and groom. It felt like we've just been on one of those rides and we survived. Waited with WJ for her ride and walked BL home. Before we part, we decided it was a very unique experience and we'll be making fun of it for years to come.

11:30pm - As I'm walking back to my place I saw Lucius on his way to a bar, he said I looked good and asked me if I want to go have a drink with him. I was too tired and I'm not going to a leather bar in a suit but a compliment is all I needed after a long day.


I can't complaint about the food other than it being late, this is one of the best dishes of the night. Shrimp, Scallop, Squid, Sea Cucumber stir-fried with Chinese Broccoli in a taro bowl. Yum.