How a Person Whom I've Never Met Before Managed to Break My Heart

A few laptops ago, a person from the San Francisco bay area befriended me on Gay.com. Let's call him Mr. Oakland. Mr. Oakland is a few years older than me, he's a bit shorter, a mix of French, Irish and Native American, handsome with a solid body (My favorite type, solid, built and "stout" which makes his chest looks giant, i think they call it rugby built now). He told me that he likes Asians and find me cute. He has lived in Korea for a while and learned how to speak Korean and even got a Korean name that means something along the line of pure as water. He works as a ESL teacher, I find his mannerism simply adorable. For the past few years, we have communicated a bit and I never got how he could be single, he told me that there aren't as much Asians in his area as I think, and he's adversed to gay bars. One time he called me out of the blue just to chat because he was stuck in traffic on the bay bridge and tells me that he'd like to date me (not sex) if I ever goes to San Francisco. I told him that I'll be going to Folsom in late September and he said he'll like to see me then. He truly seems to be a sweet person with a heart of gold.

As I was checking my MySpace page just now, I stumbled upon a notification about him updated his profile. So while being curious I went looking and he wrote that he's no longer single as of 10 days ago, my heart sunk. Not that I'm expecting to fall desperately in love with Mr. Oakland and move in the next day lesbian style, but I thought we'd have a good time together. I guess it's bad timing and it just reminded me how life doesn't wait, things happen around you in which you have no control over. With a little further digging, I discovered that Mr. Oakland has found himself quite a hunk; a hot, handsome, rugby built mate who's into sports just like himself. He's a good guy and he deserves to be immensely happy and I think he is happy now. Good for him, his boyfriend is a lucky man. I'm sure quite a few of his 200+ friends/buddies would be quite heartbroken as well. I can only blame myself for not living close enough.

This seriously casts a shadow over my SF Folsom trip, but it's too late to change my mind now. I fully intend to have as much fun as I could.

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On another note, I'm starting to think maybe I only have crushes on people that I can't have - the unattainables. Is it the thrill of the chase or some deeper psychological hang-ups?