Meeting Sensei

>> Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A few weeks ago, I've met a Taiwanese guy online who's visiting his sister and family in Philly for the month. He was an architect and used to live in Philly but as he's growing older, he finds he's more attracted to Asian guy, so he moved back and became a church organ player and lead a choir. Go figure.

While we were talking about relationships, this guy brought up some incredible theories that I didn't necessarily know so from now on I'd refer him as my sensei. Sensei mentioned that Asians and westerners have different views on how a relationship commences. Asians, like lesbians, tend to see what they want and plan on moving in the next day while westerners date for a long period of time making sure the other one is not insane and compatible before becoming boyfriends. Can you believe that I didn't know there was a difference between dating, exclusive dating and boyfriends? Knowing that fact actually helped. Since I have boyfriend experience and not dating experience, I guess I've jumped the gun a bit much before. An average dating period would last around 6 months?

Sensei went on telling me that there are two different kinds of marriage. There's the love marriage who both parties go in full of feelings and the partnership kinds of marriage where it's more of an arranged marriage thing. While the love marriage burns bright, the feeling will fizzle out as does the relationship and that's why there are so many divorcées. The arranged marriage might not be based on a strong emotion but it's based on the benefit of both people and respect and that kind of relationship will hold out longer. I've known some people who blatantly admitted to me that their marriage is more of an intellectual arrangement so maybe there's some truth in there, but conventional media culture had taught me to go with me heart so I don't think I can believe in that wholeheartedly. Good thing since our first talk, CuteCub and I had become boyfriend and I don't have to ponder what the nature of our relationship is anymore.

Sensei is one of the bigger, taller, hairier (not that I've seen) Asian guy, kinda made me think about how I would look like when I get older and at the same time we can commiserate on how stereotypical rice queens would never go for us. But he told me that due to the Japanese G-men culture, boys like us are actually rather popular in the bear subculture scene in Asia. Come to think of it, Taiwan might just be a good enough place for me to live in. They have street vendor food that I love, my English and Mandarin skills will benefit me there and there are a respectable distance between me and my family in Hong Kong. Still, it's not reason enough to move there. Sensei also told me that there are lots of gay hot springs popping up in Taiwan and that it's a lot of fun there, it'd be nice to be able to just see Taiwan since I've never been.

It's nice to meet a new friend and have someone pop up to teach me some life lessons, too bad he's going back tomorrow and has no plan of coming back in the near future. Bon Voyage!

P.S. On another note, does this picture of Jackie Chan make him look like one of those rent boys?

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