Melodramatic Diary of a Cynic: Male Vanity (NSFW)

What Tarot Card Are You?

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

Lately I've seen some new product online designed for men that's innovative but some are disturbing in one way or another. No, vanity is not sexist.

GoateeSaver

Take this GoateeSaver for example, I think it's a great tool for guys who keeps a goatee. Guys with goatees can be sexy and with my experience in keeping my beard, I can understand a tool like that would be kinda useful but I wonder how flexible it is to fit different face type. Not to mention that it makes the wearer look like one of those Star Wars soldiers during its use, I'm sure I'd be chuckling if I'm using it. It's a good thing that you'd only be using it in your personal time.

Men-bras

It's totally a WTF moment for this one. Seriously, WTF? I wasn't aware that men needed support for their boobs, I mean even for those who have flabby, fat chests. But then I heard they are all sold out after a week, and I friend explained to me that while it can provide extra security and confidence for regular men, most of the buyers are cross-dressers and that made perfect sense. I'd think that cross-dressers would prefer the lacier ones, while the men who wanted security and confidence would prefer something look more like a wife beater.

Spanx For Men

Via Joe.My.God, this undergarment seems to have a lot more use then the men-bra. At least this one gives use a six-pack, or in this case a fake-pack, but then only skinny guys can put this on. For a chubby guy, the fat still has to go somewhere. I've never wore a girdle before, and I'd imagine it would be extremely uncomfortable and I do have a little bit of a claustophobe in me. I'm sure it won't be fun. Lyposuction would be a lot more reliable, but then it also reminded me of an episode of Queer as Folks where one of them went home with someone with a fake butt:

The Package Booster

It gives you an extra padding on your butt and an extra padding up front. I think it's the equivalent of a water bra or a wonder bra for girls. But honestly, you eventually would have to take it off so what's exactly the point? I don't really get it. It's okay to be disappointed after you get naked?

Smile Trainer

Not entirely male oriented but I'll need one of these. I wonder if they work. Put a plastic behind your lips to make it contour to fit an American standard smile. But then I probably need an Ugly Betty style brace work and some bleaching before I can smile genuinely and carefree.

Wooldom

Found this over at Dit21, I didn't get the purpose or the slogan at all. I didn't know it was an issue that guys' penis are freezing as much that a small sweater needs to be made to help. If anything, it's the balls that need covering as in I'm freezing my balls off and honestly wool is not a good material to protect our privates, some people will get rash from wool and that's not the best area to get a rash. I suspect that some factory made over-sized gloves that no one is buying and they are cutting off the fingers and selling them as these Wooldom to cut their losses.