7 Requests For Santa

Dear Santa,

Since I've been such a good boy this year, I thought I'd write to you and give you my list. I don't think I've lived in any house that has got a chimney, so I figured you owe me quite a bit.

So here it is:

1. I want a new leather chair! My old one is tearing up and styrofoams are sticking out of it. I like brown leather but since I have a black leather foot rest, I wouldn't mind either way. A high-back office ones on wheels would do.







2. I bought a new leather wallet with a zipper on the side, but the leather got torn within a week. Can I get another one?








3. My bookcase is bent and broken from the weight of the books I have. I'm quite ambivalent about it being crooked, but my ocassional guests might think otherwise. I've heard your elves are quite crafty, so what say you?








4. My vacuum is not working properly either, maybe it's getting old. It's not bending anymore and it doesn't suck as good (which sucks!!!) I've seen enough Dyson commerical to crave one, can you throw in a small dust vacuum as well? I hate dusting and wiping, at least a vacuum or two will ease my pain.






5. Speaking of broken stuff, my iPod is also breaking down. I can only hear from one side and those Mac "Geniuses" can't do anything to help other than offer me a 10% discount if I return the hardware to them. The discount can't even be used for iPod Touch. Santa, can I get an iPod Touch?


6. How about a job? I think a lot of things above can be solved. Do you need an extra pair of hands at the elf factory? Or someone to feed the reindeers?





7. At last, maybe I'll ask you for my very own man. A sane, attractive one with a hairy chest and a good job and good sexual chemistry? Is that too much to ask? Can you deliver him all tied up Shibari style?




Hope you will could grant me these wishes, I'll have the milk and cookies waiting for you.

Sincerely, Paul.