The Somber X'mas Experience

Part of the roof of my apartment came crashing doing on X'mas eve. It made for a great job that involves Santa and how heavy he must be, but I haven't found any present but the 20 lbs of debris. It happened around 2:30 am and I didn't sleep after that. I feel funny, out of sorts, and not because I'm scared that the ceiling might fall on me next time.

Since Principe has left, this is my first time being single but it is also the first X'mas and perhaps New Year in which I'm spending alone. I begin to understand why X'mas has the highest suicide rate. Not that I've thought about killing myself, but being alone around X'mas sucks.

I've sent out around 50 X'mas cards to my friends, family and colleagues alike and I've got a dozen of them. My aunt called to thank me, and told me she's not sending out X'mas cards this year because of the environment. I've never thought of it that way. While I love sending them out, it must have cost a tree or two to produce the cards I've sent. I think I'll still send them out next year.

Having sex with different guys is real fun, but I guess I need someone to be with. I need someone to love and I need to be loved. The politically correct will say that you shouldn't need someone else to complete you, you should be complete all by yourself. You shouldn't NEED someone. It's a WANT, not a NEED. But I don't feel complete. Next year if I'm still single, I'll surround myself with friends.