Melodramatic Diary of a Cynic: Movie Month: July 2010

What Tarot Card Are You?

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

Opened this week, were megabuster Twilight: Eclipse and the much followed Avatar: The Last Airbender which both got the suckiest reviews in film history.

I saw the first Twilight and I was appalled that they completely distorted the legends of vampires. Yes, a million of teenage girls were ruffled by the romanticism within, every young girl's dream right now is to be special enough so that two supernatural being would fight over them but in all honesty the movie is just freaking boring. The only expression from Kristen Stewart was the one on the poster, just read the synopsis on wikipedia and you can save yourself $10 and 90 minutes. And no I haven't seen the latest installment but according to the box office, it should be releasing on DVD soon enough.

Casting an Asian Anime with an all-white cast? What? Caucasian Buddhist Monk? What? All the main characters are white when all the extras are Asian? What?

About a year and a half ago my neighbor told me that M. Night Shaymalan has a casting call for Asian actors to appear on The Last Airbender and in hindsight maybe I should have ran there and see what's up. It's something to do, but the result seems to be quite lackluster. I mean how awkward is it to have an Asian themed movie done by a white cast? Probably worst than Jake Gyllenhaal faking a British accent while being the Prince of Persia. What worst is the Asian extra running in the background reminding you that there's something wrong with you main cast. I was a little excited at first, thinking it's a 3D movie and I do like movies dealing with the elements and all, but after reading that the 3D effect was shit and the acting was also down in the toilet. I guess it's a big "No, thank you!"

There was a protest in LA against film favoring Caucasian actors, they should know that Asian actors fit in a kung fu movie better than anyone.

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The Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival has rebranded themselves as QFest last year and it's coming back this year with a hefty film selection. After the enjoyable procedure of reviewing every movie, rating them by interest levels and drawing time blocks to make up a workable schedule and balancing budget. I've selected 5 movies to attend with the boyfriend. QFest is running in conjunction with a horror film festival and we're going to see a film call Big Tits Zombie 3D, go figure. Anyhow, it should definitely be better than this RoboGeisha that I'm sure with driving me insane if the whole 90 minutes is anything like the trailer.

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Other than that, there's also Despicable Me that feed on the 3D obsessions. There's also Ms. Jolie's Salt that look slightly interesting. I'm also a bit intrigued in the dark teenage magic movies involving a possessive in the name like The Vampire's Assistant, or The Sorcerer's Apprentice if they can only be in 3D. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World also seems very interesting but that would be in August.