Music Slap: Cam'ron's Cookies-N-Apple Juice (NSFW)

New segment - music slap - for when I need to rant on how bad some songs are.

Walking along the street with the boyfriend and get slapped by a car driving by blasting this pile of crap. I was already perturbed a few years ago with DJ Webstar's Chicken Noodle Soup (with a soda on the side...) but Cookies and Apple Juice? I understand there might be some sexual innuendo and how repeating a phrase a hundred times might make it catch on but aren't you just lazy?

Is it me or is Rap music (aka brag music) just getting lazier and lazier? "Milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner fudge is made." Um, really? Where is the "hokey-pokey" or "three blind mice"? And while we're at it, where is the pride in the craft? Can't we write something more original and clever?



[Verse 1: Cam'Ron]
Killa!
Yo
I won't kiss her, maybe hug her but I don't even like her
I might get it, hit it, split it but yo I'll never wife her
I'm Rowdy Roddy Piper, (yes) but when she can't decipher (what?)
Love for fucking no fussing, buzzing, she out my Sypher (ahh)
Come thru in a Viper (Viper)
God damn I might white Nike her (yeah)
Yeah she straight, but get it straight, underestimate I might just dyke her (dyke her)
You fight and fuss wanna bite her, (damn)
Lock your girl down just like rikers
I ain't gotta do that once I hit your shit the damn bitch a lifer (forever)
This dude wanna write her (write her?), e-mail, text and type her
He a runner, I'm a gunner, baby girl, a sniper (sniper)
Roll the blunts up, ma I'ma get the lighter
I'll have you squirtin' for certain, yeah bring a diaper
Milk, Lemonade, I'm a fucking renegade
Handguns, hand grenades meet me at the center stage (stage, stage)
Baby boy go hire a squadron
My crib got more poles than the fire department (Ahh)

[Chorus: Skitzo]
Cookies with some apple juice
Cookies with some apple juice (Lady)
I ain't mad at you, cookies with some apple juice (Lady)
I ain't mad at you, (Lady) cookies with some apple juice (Lady)
I ain't mad at you, cookies with some apple juice

[Verse 2: Byrd Lady]
First lady so wavy, lady of the birds, this is the Byrd Lady
Holdin' up you know it gets crazy
No I'm not yo' girl but I could be your baby
Yes baby, I'm sexy, why you itty bitty girls wanna test me?
Cuz I'm fly high floatin' with a jet ski
that's why your man wanna sex me
Yep, he said I'm cute, try to throw me in the loop
Hit me when he hungry, lick my cookies, drink my apple juice
Apple Coupe, zoom-zoom, horse and Porsche, vroom-vroom
zoom-zoom and not poom-poom, smash real fast got up out his room
Classy, yet I get nasty, nasty but never trashy
Bright light, yes bitch I'm flashy, no you will never pass me
Ask me? Ask who, ask you
I'm sick, something like a flu flu
You stink, something like a zoo zoo
Lay low, you know what to do boo
Cuz you don't want no problems, please trust girl
I will solve them
Fo' Fives cats, I revolve 'em, now it's hell up in Harlem
This for midwest, down south, dirty dirty
Bitches catch up, tie your shoes now hurry hurry

[Repeat Chorus]

Milk, milk, lemonade
Round the corner fudge is made
Cookies with some apple juice
I'm just tryin' to get paid x2

[Verse 3: Cam'Ron]
I said, cookies and some apple juice
Cherry Jeeps, Apple Coupes
No hassle, hit 'em with a gavel, ask 'em my whole staff will shoot (Shoot, shoot sh-sh-shoot)
What could the bastard do? (nothing)
They run, we run this town, we'll run you down, they'll laugh at you
Damn no, look at mommy shaking her derriere (damn)
Fuck Christmas, you could have a merry year
Where you wanna go, everywhere?
What you wanna do? Let me hear
I'm talkin' Vegas, I don't do them teddy bears (nope, nope, nope)
But I do do the fish nets...
Pre-ejaculation to get my dick wet (No homo..)
But I'm tryin' get your lips wet
Doggy-style, facial, huh.. Welcome to Dipset

[Chorus to fade]