My Ex-Day

>> Monday, January 29, 2007

During this past weekend, I went out with my former colleague JH and his friends for dinner. Mainly to catch up. Ever since he was forced to leave our organization, I have been missing him and our walks to work together every morning. He's good company and he has a great, cheerful personality that is contagious; There's a naivete of him, a happy-go-lucky attitude that is just so charming. Other people says he's good-looking and because of that he gets treated very differently, somehow his good looks must have eluded me, but he is still good company.

I guess I get nervous when around strangers, I get very tense and close myself down around his friends. Although they can hardly be considered strangers, I used to go to their house and teach them how to play mahjong a few times and they helped my workplace decorate for several function that we held. A and M, they are a couple and have been together for 12 years. I think I just never get quite comfortable with them, I don't find that we have a lot in common, but they are nice guys. So I bought them dinner at Fogo de Chao, just to show that I didn't mean to be rude and unsocial. A says "Guess I'll have to have sex with you now!".

So afterwards we went to a bar to have a few drinks. I haven't gone out to drink for so long. I guess I don't think that bars are exactly my "scene". I don't like drinking and smoking, I don't know how to dance and I feel awkward flirting with strangers and cruising. I wonder how I ever found myself a boyfriend. Not being out for a while lowered my tolerant to alcohol. I used to be able to handle 4 cocktails and now I get dizzy after 1. JH called me a cheap date and he says he'll have to train me how to hold my liquor. It's not like I want to drink much anyway. After my second drink, I was so drunk that I was googling at A's chest hair and thought about taking him upon his earlier offer, but I already have a boyfriend and he does as well. He says "M don't want to have sex with me anymore, he says it's like having lobster everyday, you'll eventaully get tired of it." Funny.

My ex-boyfriend also spotted me and start coming around and showing his face. Really annoying. We went out for three and a half year and we broke up and he has been harassing me for the past five years. What a loser... I hope he finds someone else to harass. he left me a 5-minute voice mail that I can't hear a word because I was at the bar, and then he left me a text message saying "I hope you find the security that you were looking for". Whenever I'm with someone at the bar he's always immediately associate that I found a new boyfriend. Like I need somebody rich to take care of me, just because I'm Asian. He's such a racist. Unlike his broke ass, I can take care of myself. And then it's non-stop phone calls all night. I should save his voice messsages and text messages and send them to his boss just to ruin his pathetic career. but since there's decency left in me, I won't.

What gives him the right to harass me anyway? Just because he was drunk, he spotted me in a bar and we broke up a long, long time ago doesn't give him the right to ruin my night. Well, misery loves company, all his actions just reconfirm me that I was right to dump him. He is so miserable. One time he texted me and said "I hope you realized what you wouldn't be without me." Happy? He was so miserable day and night, I try my best to cheer him up but fails, he probably suffers from depression, the only thing is that I don't want to suffer with him. I have never responded to his text messages or voice mail, so I don't encourage him but I love my phone number that's why I never changed, but one of these days...

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