Movie Review: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

>> Wednesday, June 10, 2009

About a month ago, I saw the preview trailer of Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus online and I was intrigued. It sounds like a great concept for a B-movie, like Snakes on a Plane. The flying shark at the end of the clip tickled me, I was sure that it could become the next cult classic and I really wanted to see it. Yes, I saw the signs; It went straight to DVD, no video stores near me carries the movie, but I thought they just didn't get it or they are just behind. Turns out, there were nothing to get.

The boyfriend like sci-fi movie and b-movies alike, so we torrented it and watched it together. I have no idea who Debbie Gibson is or who Lorenzo Lamas is either. I wanted to quit watching 30 minutes in but the boyfriend was fascinated to see how bad it can be and bad it was.

The premise is that following an U.S. weapon testing in Alaska, a previously frozen megalodon-sized shark and an equally huge octopus was unleashed into the world. They are destroying ocean life as well as killing humans near Japan and US. So both governments are trying to destroy these creatures and save humanity. The first thing I notice is how bad the production value and the CGI are completely low grade. You can't really see how big the shark exactly is. I swear they have one footage on the shark swimming towards the camera on either Animal Planet or the Discovery Channel and they used it over and over again. Also, the same footage on an octopus closing its eye and they used it 10 times. It's completely lame. I was wishing they would at least do the 70s plastic playdoh monster frame by frame fight scene, but they didn't even do that. It was bad. I swear one shot they used a hand puppet shark to destroy the Golden Gate bridge.

What's equally bad was the script and the acting. I thought they would know how cheesy the concept is and have a little fun with it but I was convinced that they took themselves seriously in hope that the CGI would save themselves. I've seen 80s porno actors with better acting skills. The whole film was full of time fillers that's unnecessary and made no sense. Actors with lab coats mixing colored liquid and shaking their heads, submarine scenes where everyone was staring at a supposedly window like something is happening. The US prison looks exactly like the Japan prison where the same actors playing the prison guards are wearing the same sunglasses and holding the same guns. A Latino homeboy playing a Japanese guy, spelling errors on captions, bad lighting, bad editing, it's like nobody reviewed the film before it got published. And they are talking about a sequel? I've not seen anything worst in my life and I've walked out on 3 movies.

After seeing it, the boyfriend and I lied in bed discussing how bad it was for a good half hour. Only if John Waters could have directed this movie. It was so disappointing... Don't waste your time. F

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