Melodramatic Diary of a Cynic: Asylum Knockbusters

What Tarot Card Are You?

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

When watching the miserable Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, the boyfriend and I found the company who produces and distributes that horrid film Asylum Productions. Turns out, they have a whole arsenal of movies that knock off the mainstream media. The movies are real and for sale on their websites.

If you enjoy Transformers, you might also enjoy Transmorphers...

If you're a fan of the Indiana Jones series, you might also like Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls. It's not the same of course, but it is inspired by it. I like the word inspired, it could mean anything.

If you liked the mutherfukin' Snakes on a mutherfukin' Plane, how about on a mutherfukin' Train? Or in the drain? on your brain? with whole grain? I predict spaghettis for special effects.

I guess The Day The World Stopped could be a story happening to some other people as The Day The World Stood Still in a much lower budget and worse acting kinda way.

The on-going saga of Alien vs. Predator now has a newer opponent - Hunter. Hopefully, Hunter's not a California teenage with a mask on. Would there be Hunter vs. Predator, I pray?

I wonder if King Kong would battle King of the Lost World or they can mate and reproduce.

This reminds me that I've got to go rent I am Legend sometimes.

Replace the old naked dead guy in the Da Vinci Code with a younger clothed lady and you've got the Da Vinci Treasure. This one is truly blatant.

Because all high school teenagers (and the boyfriend) likes to freeze-frame jump? I'm sure it's a Sunday School Musical is the more primmed and proper version of High School Musical.

Rip offs, bad production values, bad CGI and bad acting aside... you do have to marvel at their blatancy and skills on producing some semi-decent posters. I'm even tempted to see a CGI dependent movie like Transmorphers and see what they are going to do for all the robot characters. Are they just gonna have people wearing cardboard suits since every minute of the movie should have robots in them? Or just do a CGI and play the same clip backwards and forwards a hundred times in the movie? Ha.