Open Book

I think I plan and expect too much and when things don't go as I assume they would, I get surprised and shocked. I don't know how I have grown to be like this. I sudden unexpected tap on my back would send me jumping in the air so high that it's down right unnatural. Maybe I've been by myself so much that I've grown to be highly sensitive to human contact, It's all in my head and I can't see how to reverse want has been done.

While I'm comfortable building my circle through the web, sometimes I wonder what small talks could accomplish. I have gorwn impatient to hear other people's ranting, but I understand the hyprocrisy of me leting my steam out online. At least, I'm not expecting anyone to read and respond to what I have to say. Sometime it's surprising how much people know about me and my personality, given I intentionally avoid to leave tracks.

A casual lesbian friend of mine went me with me to see Cirque du Soleil once, we met through work and got friendly with each other. When she saw me browsing for a souvenir T-shirt, she says "This is so you, it says Cirque du Soleil but it's shhh!" The words are almost in the same color as the background of the T-shirt. I was a bit surprised on how much she knows about me, we have only known each other for weeks.

Some online friend called me a "serial monogomist" from minimal conversation that we have. Am I ready that easy to read? I must have overestimated my own complexity.