Job Woes

I've been pounding the pavements for months, checking job listings in about 20 sites everyday, applying for things that I think I was qualified for but at most I get an email weeks later saying that they are considering "candidates that more closely match their needs" or other more polite ways of rejection. Others doesn't even bother to make a sound.

From all the applications, I've seen a trend that mostly 90 percent of all posting on the online job boards are from placement companies that post positions that may or may not exist. They are mostly fishing for information of where the candidates might have interviewed or applied before and their former employment information, so they can contact those people and ask if they have any employment needs so the employer can hire through them and they will pay job seeker's 50% to 75% of what the employers are paying them. With one of such company, I have gone through a lengthy employment process including a drug screening just so I can work for 3 days and get $200, then never heard from them again.

So more vulture-like companies post fake job ads and then call you to say that I should pay them for trainings to increase my chances of employment, which is not guaranteed. When I tell them that I don't have any money to give them, they say that unemployment will generally compensate for the trainings and I should really invest in myself. Of course, they don't care whether I do learn or not, they are only interested in money. They don't really care if I'm desperately in need or a job and don't have time to entertain them.

I thought the retail stores would need some holiday help, because it's the case for past years and so I applied for a job at a clothing store and despite being a minimum wage job, it's some income. But after going a questionnaire, a phone interview and a face-to-face interview, the person told me that all the holiday position had been filled a while back, she's just doing it for protocol and the next day she has a job fair to hold that was scheduled months back even though she doesn't need people anymore. Well, thanks for nothing. I've considered taking a loan from the bank but I have nothing for them for collateral. Friends did offer to loan me money but while not having much, I do have my pride.

Through it all, I did learn some lessons. I used to spend everything that I earn and itching to find an excuse to spend and treat people to meals when my bank account grows. Now I know the importance to plan for a future. At the same way, I understand my importance to invest and be strategic in my professional development. I didn't know better to set a goal or to plan a career path for myself. I was comfortable in a moderately well-paid job that didn't go anywhere. I confess my sins.

Now, the clothing store has contacted me for a full-time position that pays next to nothing and another friend has called me about working temporarily in a coffee shop that pays even less but the friend told me that I can take off anytime when a job interview comes up. It's a good thing I have considerate friend that understand my situation and my needs. I reckon, I can perhaps work both jobs to get a passable income. It would mean working 65 hours a week and not getting paid nearly as much as before or the unemployment that I've been getting but I'm trying to shoulder the responsibility of being self-reliant and becoming an adult. At least I can be doing while keep on applying for a steadier job.

Between all this, I'm worried that the relationship between me and the boyfriend will strain because of the hours I'll be keeping. During the two years that we are dating I have been largely available because of my unemployment. If I'm working 65 hours a week like I'm planning to, I will be missing out on a lot of quality time between us and if I'm ever off, I'll probably be exhausted. I probably won't be much of a boyfriend and it could be quite unfair to him. I'm worried that we might grow distant. I know that it's probably me and my own anxiety and at this cloudy point of my life, I don't know what kind of future is available to me and the ones I love and for that I'm saddened. I guess I have to remain optimistic, persistent and take things one day at a time. It's part of growing up, even though it takes me all these years to realize and get started.