Twenty-One Weeks

>> Monday, April 09, 2007

It's 21 weeks until Principe goes back to where he came from and I'm feeling the pressure. Things got out of control Friday night when he was playing God of War II with me. Given I'm also in a little bit of financial stress, now that we have spent $500 that day on a suit and DVDs and food, but I didn't have to yell at him when he couldn't do a puzzle that is so obvious to me. Not to be a snob, but I couldn't really expect everybody else to have to same intellectual prowess as I do. (That didn't come out sounding too good now, did it? Well, whatever I gain in intellects can't make up with my lack of social skills.)

So I guess we are in the stage of preparing for him to go back home. He asked me to find him the cheapest one-way ticket for the end of August, now that's insensitive. I'm starting to feel very sentimental whenever I heard a sad love song about being seperated or broken off from a lover. I guess I'll be in a deep emotional wreck when it gets nearer and nearer to the day that he really does leave. How am I gonna deal with this? I'll probably fall for the next guy who comes along immediately to drown myself from the pain, whoring myself around or something. It's infinitely sad, but I think I feel my best in my infinite blue state, make peace to the fact that I would probablly be alone and loveless for the rest of my life. After you have reached the bottom, that's no way to go but up, right?

I've been thinking maybe I should go back to HK and try to make a living there, maybe I'll be happier that way. Quit being the scam that I am and use my language skills to my advantage, be with my friends, to have a social life again. I do think I feel more confident when I'm in Hong Kong. The only drawback is the family that I have, they drag me down. Maybe I can rent a place on my own, or get a roommate. Anyway, It will be something that I'll do at least twenty-one weeks from now.

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