Picking Up The Pieces

"I had a dream. I dreamt that I had a boyfriend for 6 years. He was a decent, caring, funny, great, great man with all his perfect little flaws, everything I wanted in a man. I dreamt that we lived happily day after day in my little studio apartment, helping each other along, taking care of each other. I finally woke up today, and although I know that no two dreams can be the same, I wish that I could dream that dream again."

Principe is finally gone. My heart is broken into a thousand pieces. How can I honestly expect myself to face life without him? To be alone again, in my bed, reaching out for nothing, without his warmth near me? I'm terrified.

I wish life wouldn't be like that. I wish forever would just go by in a flash, instead these last months have been so dreadful, these last few days have been so dreadful. No amount of tears could have kept him here, that was not my goal. I wanted him to go and take care of his family, I didn't want the same thing that happened to me, happens to his kids. I don't want to be the other "woman" that ruined his family, but it just hurts so damn much.

What meaning does life has now? Without him, who am I? He said he will love me forever and I feel that I would do the same, but what is love if I can't be close to him and be with him for the rest of my life? If time heals all things, what amount of time could heal a wound this deep? I wish life is short.