The Last Days of Being 30

Time goes really fast. I can still remember the summer I spent with my uncle and his sun catching snails (escargots) for dinner after the rain in the southern province of France, or the countless bus trips throughout Europe that me and my mom shared. I can remember walking with my friends one New Year's Eve along the waters of TsimShaTsui East or the night we spent in an arcade gallery with my other friends blowing our allowance on those fighting games and shooting games. I was never good in competing, I always go for those quiz games and mahjong games where I play alone. I'm an intellectual type, you see... (Haha... laughing at myself)

I turned 18, then 21, then 25 and last year around this time I turned 30. When I was asked to write those "When I grow up, I want to be..." papers in primary school, I never had a clear image of what I'm going to be. I was going to be a cop one year, just because I didn't know what I wanted and a policeman seemed to be the right thing to say. I was gonna be a singer (lol) another year, the teacher wrote me a comment and told me to be realistic. I'm an IT director now, yippee.

They bought an ice cream birthday cake for me yesterday at work. They sang the song, I made a wish, blew out the candles and cut the cake. My birthday is not until Sunday. One of my colleagues brought her two granddaughters Diannah (dee-annah) who is around 8 and Shaiann (shy-N) who is 4. They drew me 4 birthday cards with crayons and lots of Disney-princesses stickers on them. (Lol... as if...) I was touched. Shaiann looked at me all googly-eyed the whole day. I think she must be really excited for me, because it was my birthday. I used to think that when I was small, just because it is my birthday I'm the most special/important person in the world. I wanted to tell her it isn't so, but I was too stunned with the fact that a little Boricua is actually excited for a Chino. At some point in a person's life, birthdays will become less and less significant. Less, it becomes a mockery of all the thing that the person should have achieved, but hasn't. I thought I would have owned a home by now, if not, at least realizing some of my dreams or potentials. I thought I had so many talents.

My colleagues took me out to a Chinese-owned Japanese Restaurant that I liked and then my best friend took me out for dinner in a nice Hawaiian-themed restaurant. They know I like to eat and I did enjoyed myself. It's nice to go out sometimes.

Do I feel older? I felt a lot older when I turned 30 last year. Now, I'm here in a coffee shop working on this blog. It's raining outside. Sitting in this chair, sipping my Darjeeling, looking at the light coming from the street, I feel kinda of content.

...the rain is slowing down, I can't wait to get home.