Reboot

I have deliberately taken a whole year off this blog because of a few reasons. I wasn't really happy with my life at the end of 2010. Sure I had a boyfriend that I adore but after two years of unemployment starting at the end of 2008, I was met with the end of my unemployment compensation and I had to borrow money to keep up with all my bills and expenses and all I could find as a job with my work experience and my Master's degree is to be a manager in training at a Dunkin Donuts in a sketchy neighborhood catering to addicts and drug dealers, working 55 hours, 6 days a week for near minimum wage.

It was physical labor for a boss who was undereducated and all she knows about managing is to act loud and bossy. It wasn't her fault and at the end of her training, I did learn loud in my head on what is what in a store like hers. The business model of the company is to lower expenses and make everyone replaceable disregarding experience, so employees are treated like dirt. I think that may reign true in any fast food restaurants. You don't have to offer anyone raises since there will be tons of high-schoolers lining down the door waiting to replace you. I had done my damnest to be the best employee possible. Working almost 10 hours a day for 6 days unfortunately doesn't leave me enough time to blog.

I was very afraid that my boyfriend would leave me because I didn't have time for him and when I do, I'm thoroughly tired. Physically and mentally. Most days I have to go to bed at 8pm so I can wake up at 3am in the morning to make it to work by 4am, all the while having an unreasonably demanding boss on my back. I was transferred to a better neighborhood after 3-month of work and doing less hours which means that I get paid less but still enough to survive. To my boyfriend's credit, he didn't leave me, not until after I found a decent job.

I guess I cannot fault him. After being put in the bottom of the pit, I was determined to come back up, so I did not exactly quit the Donuts but move it to the weekend. With both the equally demanding new job and the Donuts, I think I have failed to shown as much passion to the boyfriend as before and it broke. That or it had long been broken and the now ex-boyfriend had just stayed with me until I got back on my feet. In my head, I thought I was working hard for our future together, I want to be an equal partner and not lagging behind. I guess that was foolish. Either way, that's the end of that. What's ironic is that after a few more months I quit the Donuts, I just don't see the point of working so hard any more. It doesn't seem that I have anything to work for anymore.