Beginner's Level
Good Eats with Alton Brown
1 sip whenever a detailed text screen shows up explaining the history of something
1 sip whenever Alton is talking into an appliance
1 sip whenever Alton introduced an overtly complicated way to cook something that should be simple
1 sip whenever you hear Alton says "Uh"
1 sip whenever somebody other than Alton Brown shows up
2 sips if the person is dressed as an secret agent or in a plush suit
Barefoot Contessa with Ina Garten
1 sip whenever you spot a presumably gay man or Jeffrey
1 sip whenever you see her or her friends in a market
1 sip whenever someone else is doing the tablescapes for her
1 sip whenever you spot hydrangea
1 sip whenever you spot a convertible
1 sip whenever you hear an awkward laugh or a fake laugh
2 sips whenever "Good Vanilla" is mentioned
2 sips whenever she says "Don't have fun without me"
Intermediate Level
Everyday Italian/Giada at Home with Giada De Laurentiis
1 sip whenever Giada smiles
1 sip whenever Giada says perfect
1 sip whenever you see Todd or one of the De Laurentiis family members
2 sips whenever Giada mentions Italy
2 sips whenever Giada pronounces a word in overexaggerated Italian accent (i.e. MOT-ZAHHH-RELLL-LAHHH...)
2 sips whenever Giada mentions chocolate
2 sips whenever the camera pans on her boobs
2 sips whenever Giada gives you the O-face along with moans and grunts while tasting her food
Paula's Best Dishes/Paula's Home Cooking/Paula's Party with Paula Deen
1 sip whenever Paula mentions the word "Butter" or "Pecan"
1 sip whenever Paula mentions the word "Bacon" or "Lard"
1 sip whenever Paula says "Y'All!"
1 sip whenever Paula deep-fry something
1 sip whenever Paula put a sprig of mint/parsley/basil on some dish and says "You've gotta have your greens!"
1 sip whenever Paula refers to The Lady & Sons
1 sip whenever you see Jamie, Bobby, Michael or her Dogs
2 sips whenever Paula closes the show with "Best dishes from our kitchen to yours"
Expert Level
30 Minutes Meal with Rachael Ray
1 sip when Rachael's voice cracks
1 sip whenever Rachael says "E.V.O.O."
1 sip whenever Rachael says "Yummo" or "Delish"
1 sip whenever Rachael refers to her audience as "Guys"
1 sip whenever Rachael mentions her garbage bowl or "GB"
1 sip whenever Rachael says "Sammie" instead of sandwich
1 sip whenever Rachael makes up a word like "Stoup" or "Peasto"
1 sip whenever Rachael reiterates that aforementioned made up word
1 sip whenever Rachael says "How ____ is that?"
2 sips whenever Rachael peels vegetable and the peels missed the GB
2 sips whenever Rachael drops food
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee
1 sip whenever Sandra opens up a can
1 sip whenever Sandra says “Your (friends/family) will never know”
1 sip whenever Sandra mentions another Food Network personality for leverage
1 sip whenever Sandra says "Great" or "Easy"
1 sip whenever Sandra says "Juice"
1 sip whenever Sandra exclaims "Hmm"
1 sip whenever Sandra says "Delicious" or "Lush"
2 sips whenever Sandra says "Cocktail Time!"
2 sips whenever Sandra mixes a drink
2 sips whenever Sandra says "Vodka"
3 sips whenever Sandra does a cartwheel (and she will)
1 glass whenever Sandra shows you one of her tablescapes (you'll need it)