The Drunken Tale (Santa Saturday Pt. 2)

Well, I usually see AL on Bear411 and we usually chat and tease each other quite a bit. So I haven't seen him on for a week because he's moving and I started to get worried since he's moving because he just broke up with his boyfriend. He's a good guy and I'm willing to provide him with emotional and physical support. (and by physical, I mean to help him move.)

Last night, I saw him online and chatted him up to see how he's progressing and he said he's doing fine and he has just finished moving. Then the conversation took a different turn. It appears that he has a big story about our friend JH, but he said he'll leave it for JH to tell me personally. He used the word "Juicy" to describe what had happened. And of course, my interest peaked up like a hard-on.

So this morning, I was supposed to meet them up for coffee but I was quite late dealing with a new cleaning guy that I hired for my small, small studio apartment. (I hate dusting and there's always dust...) But I caught up with them and here's what happened: We were pretty buzzed when we came back from Santa Saturday, but JH (the drunkest of us all) wanted to go to another bar and drink some more, so he went. A few hours later, AL got a call from him saying that he had somehow lost his pants and he's in the nearby bathhouse (HAHAHA). Of course, now he had forgotten how that happened or how he got there. Along with his pants, he lost his keys and his cell phone and the staff in the bathhouse found one of his shoes in one corridor, the other one somewhere else and his shirt somewhere further. What was he stripping along the whole establishment? So AL had to bring a pair of jeans to pick him up, while he went in he said "I am here for my friend who lost his pants." (ROFL)

As for the keys, JH had to go to his ex for his set of keys afterwards and made up a story about his keys were in his jacket and he forgot his jacket somewhere. And his ex said "You should keep them in your pants' pocket, it's not like you will lose your pants." (LOL) Little did he know... AL almost burst out laughing when he heard that.

I guess it's not that funny, since it's not the first time JH gets into these kind of episodes. He could really get into trouble or get hurt or get diseases. I worry about him, and I hope he can pull himself together. But these stories are priceless, who else can have experiences like these but JH... lol

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I'm a Hateful S.O.B.

In the beginning of my green card application process, my exboss told me that he's (or the company is) going to pay for the expenses. I offered to pay for it, because it is important to me, but he reassured me that the company is going to do that.

So yesterday morning I received and Email forwarded to me from my eboss saying that we still owe the lawyer $3,000 and we should discuss this when he gets in. "What is there to discuss?" I replied. So when he got in around 2pm, he summoned me to the meeting room and told me that there aren't anymore funding for the application and ask if i can pay for it. "Huh? What?" I got my green card back in July and haven't old him about it yet. So I guess he was trying to say "If you want your green card, you better pay for it yourself." From the same folks who promised me $6,000 consulting fee with another firm and pretended they never said anything like that after I fulfilled my duties. I wonder how much it would take for me to really start looking for another job.

Of course, I told them I don't have $3,000 to give and although the service is for me, the contract is between the lawyer and the company. (I got my stuff, see ya.) Then they say they'll try to work out a payment plan with the lawyer. (Good luck with that too.) There were rumors out there that our company will be closed in a few months. I wonder if I should stay for the severance and unemployment or just get the heck out. After all, they could fire me the day before the company closed so that they don't have to give me a severance.

I really don't hate my job, I just hate the people I work for. Those selfish, conniving bastards who don't have money for my green card applications, but have money for their consulting friends who do nothing and a trip for eight to a conference to Chile. Now I understand why people bring their shotguns to their post office jobs. I can be vengeful too, but I'm so much smarter that I can execute karma in a much more elegant way.

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Santa Saturday

Borrowed from Joe.My.God

So Thanksgiving is quite uneventful for me since I'm single I pretty much won't have a chance to cook turkey. I did some light shopping Friday, Macy's didn't really have as big a discount as I hoped. I'm still having some difficulty deciding what to get my friends for X'mas, I guess clothing would be the most conventional thing or maybe an architectural coffee table book?

These few days, AL has been telling me about Santa Saturday, a fund raising event happening in New Hope, PA where tons of gay men who's into the leather and the bear scene attends. I have seen troops of bikers delivering toys to the Children's Hospital around X'mas, so I thought this might be where they get the toys but I wasn't too sure. Since AL is in between moving, he didn't think that he'll be able to go. Another online friend was also trying to persuade me to go to that event, he added that it can be really fun since people can loose and wild after a few drink and he had heard stories about people actually doing it in the parking lots. (It actually sounded more like he had done it himself) That bit of information did sway me a bit, but I don't know how to drive so there was no way for me to go there and the weather was gonna be freezing cold, so I thought no one would be there and there wouldn't be much flesh to be seen. Fastforward to 1:30pm Saturday afternoon when AL called and asked me to be ready in 20 minutes 'Coz we're going'.

So AL and JH drove all the way to New Hope and found 2000 bears trotting about the Raven, a nice size bar with capacity for around 200 people, there were tents in the yard and all but it was so crowded and hard to move about. I have never seen so many gay men in one place before and 90% of them were bears. When I say bears, you have to understand it doesn't mean fat hairy people. There are also plenty of great looking hunky muscle bears there, it was quite overwhelming for me though, in a good way I guess. Although I find it is not so welcoming for Asians in the American gay circle, plus there are tons of guys with attitude just like any gay bars.

After two strong drinks, I was pretty buzzed. I tried to meet and greet the other few Asians in the crowd to find some comradery, but they acted like I was coming onto them which cannot be further from the case. Although later I got hugged and squeezed by this attractive muscle dude, by I was too shy to take it further and backed away. And AL got a comment from a friend who says he loves Gaysians and I'm the only Gaysian amongst us.

We left around 5pm and went to the McDonald's across the street to get some food because we were starving. AL just had a drink and he's the designated driver, I really applaud how he can hold back and be the sane one, while JH was obviously drunk out of his mind and insisted he should be the one driving, then proceed to make crank calls to his friends. Anyway, I did have a pretty good time. Too bad that's the only bear event around my neck of the wood.

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Good Men Are Hard to Find (And So The Whoring Saga Continues...)

I am meeting a lot of people lately, so forgive me if all I want to talk about are men. I am trying to change my attitude about going out and meeting people, I can't be scared of being out there all my life.

I have realized that gay men in my city are made up of 80% bottoms and 20% tops (I discuss this finding with my friends and they concurred), which means it will be quite competitive for me to find a guy that compliments me in that department.

I've met a couple of guys, some of them even quite blessed in some departments. One of them lied about his age and lied about the fact that he's HIV positive. (That was a bit scary) Some guy have a body that reminds me of sea mammal and moans when he kiss (Sorry, it's a bit strange for me) There were two guys that I'm really attracted to, but they are both taken, hence unavailable.

I just met one of them last night going out drinking with some friends. This guy is in no way great looking but he's cute, a bit shorter, stocky type but solid with a huge chest, a football player. I'm a big fan of chest, so I took notice but the most endearing character is his personality. He seems to be so friendly and well put together. Intellectual and down to earth at the same time. Perfect boyfriend material. I guess that's why he's taken although his boyfriend is quite a troll. (Must be the jealousy or the alcohol in me talking) Anyway, I'm quite obsessed and I don't think we could be friends because it would be torture for me.

If all the great guys are taken because they are great, what hope do I have? I hope I don't get stir-crazy for a boyfriend and jump on the next guy I see. I need to take my time and calm down.

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Bookstore Guy

I guess I could have a guy too... Well, I've known bookstore guy for a few years now. A very cute sophisticated type who works at an artsy bookstore right next to where I work. He's a bit on the pale side and younger than me, not the type that I usually go for, but then he's friendly and kind. I usually stop by his bookstore only on occassions, like shopping for X'mas cards or baby shower/birthday/X'mas gift. So we only see each other 2-3 times a year but he remembers me, he asked me where I work and makes small talk. How do you know if someone is interested?

I remember one time I was with my colleague and jokingly I picked up one of the breath mint on the counter right in front of him and I said "'Oral Fixation'? I have that too." And he was beet red. yesterday, I stopped by the bookstore after a year of not seeing him and bought some X'mas cards. (Don't you just love those MoMA cards?) And we kinda exchanged our "same-ole, same-ole"s, he gave me a special giant discount and I really wanted to ask him out. But what if I'm reading too much into it? What if he's not gay? What if he's not interested? Or worst what if he's already taken? If I'm asking him out it's not just gonna be a one-night stand, maybe one day I'll get the courage to just ask. What's the worst that could happen? Going to another bookstore to find MoMA cards?

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The Great Maya Angelou

I was watching the Today Show when I was packing my luggage and getting ready to come back home, Maya Angelou was being interviewed by one of the anchors. I'm not from around, so I don't really know her that well. But I have read one of her stories and from the reactions of people around me and the general media, I knew she is highly regarded as one of the greatest minds. After all, she wrote books, musicals, directed movies, participated in the civil rights movement.

So the anchor asked her "If there is one lesson that she can teach everyone, what would that be?" and she said slowly "That would be the truth that at some point in everybody's life they had been loved." It's not honesty or righteousness, no, it's to know that you have been loved. I guess one can never underestimate the power of love. But what could that knowledge accomplish? I can't help but wonder while the anchor was getting tears in her eyes, because she was so touched.

No doubt, it warms the heart knowing that you have been loved. Does that bring contentment? Would we stop our desperate search of love in our adult life or stop searching for recognition? Is that even good for human development if we stop our search? If necessity is the mother of invention, what happens if the need is satisfied? Ms. Angelou is such a sage, I feel that I must not be smart enough to know what she meant.

The anchor went on to say that Ms. Angelou will be turning 80 and asked if she had one wish what would that be and she went on to say "It would be for each of us to take time with each other." I guess human interaction is getting scarce, I should know I have limited to no social skills. I'm scared of people and the art of conversation is lost with me. I have to read a book to know what cruising is about. Of course, Ms. Angelou preaches patience and forgiveness, not cruising and manipualtion. But then as I get older I grew less patient and I was never too good with forgiveness. Things have become instant; noodles, information, a call to Argentina. The world does not require patience anymore.

At the end, the anchor said in her teary eyes that she wishes that it won't be the last time she talks to Ms. Angelou. I don't think I'm the only one who heard the connotation of the anchor implying that Ms. Angelou might be dying soon, but the ever so graceful Ms. Angelou just brushed it off and said "Come to my house, I'll cook for you." Where is the next generations of great minds in the States? I wonder how many Jon Stewarts are out there.

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The Feeling About L.A.

I finally got a chance to visit Los Angeles. Took a train up Monday morning, did the tourist thing and went to Hollywood Boulevard, the avenue of the stars and the Chinese Theatre to look at the hand and foot prints. Then a tour of the city, the hills and the beaches. I only have two days for LA, so I was trying to get the most out of it. Everything is so spread out, I couldn't really live there since I don't know how to drive. Feel like I spent a lot of time waiting for the bus and being on them.

I also went to the WB lot, and it was nice to see where some films and TV shows are filmed, especially since I watch that much TV. Got tickets to go to the MadTv taping, but the guy says I'll need to put my bags, cell phone and camera away and I din't have a place to store them so I didn't end up going. I was quite disappointed since I'm a big fan.

Being in the south and seeing that many Latinos everywhere reminds me of Principe a lot. I wish he could be with me. He always wanted to see Hollywood in person. It's sad that he is so far away. Every now and then I'll see something that reminds me of him. The hand and foot print of Cantinflas, the star of Donald Trump... One of my questions for the concierge is to find an Argentinean restaurant. As I was sitting in the train station waiting for my train back to San Diego, I suddenly realized that I forgot to get Principe a souvenir, so I rushed back to the Chinese Theatre. It does me no good to scratch my scab, but I can't will it away. L.A. was fun, but it is not for me. Same thing could be said about Principe.

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South of the Border

Finally got to San Diego last night. I'm always excited to be in a new city, to see different scenes and experience different culture. Our hotel is located in the downtown business district and there is very little for me to see in the dark other than those tall office buildings.

DC and I decided we should get into a little mischief, so we drove to Tijuana for Club Extasis. It was 11pm here and 2am back in the East Coast, we were kinda beat since we were unable to sleep during the six hours long flight. (Why do people like to turn on their headlight even though they are not reading?) But the thought of hot naked latino male strippers had us pumped. We searched for maps and found out that the club is literally right across the border, but we can't find any direction or physical map to bring with us, but we figured we would find the way without any problems. (Only Google had a map of Tijuana) Fast forward to us driving all aroung the place half and hour later almost giving up.

This is my first time in Mexico, although I'm sure Tijuana is far different than the other parts of the country. While we were lost, I get to see some part of it and got a feeling why people wants to come to the States.

Anyway, we were driving around in circles and I decided to go out and ask people. DC was kinda scared, he didn't really want me to get out of the car. But I did, and nobody knew where it was... Finally I went to a cab driver and offered him money to lead the way. He was a nice fellow, lead us there and only asked for $5. I would have paid him $20, but I gave him $10 instead. I was starving at this point, haven't ate for 14 hours and thank god there was a hot dog stand right across from the club (I was hoping for authentic street vendor food), but that hod dog is probably one of the best I've ever tasted, you can add your own mushroom for free.

The club was quite big, and when we get there the stripping is already in progress. Cute, muscled latino hunk taking their clothes off to a huge mixed crowd. The dancers don't really know how to dance and you can tell they are straight because they like showing off to the girls too much but that's beside the point. It's a fun atmosphere which took quite a bit of sleaze out of it. Althought there is a huge maze backroom that is for men only. People are probably having sex back there. Of course, I wouldn't miss this great opportunity to check it out. There is a long narrow hallway where people pass each other by very, very slowly like the rush hour bumper to bumper traffic, playing grab ass and there is another part of it that is divided into 15-20 small room and I don't know what goes on in there. It's too dark and I'm scared... haha.

After the show is done, DC and I decided it is time to go. So we tried to drive back to San Diego. Well while we were looking for our way, we realized we were in the wrong lane (The street signs in San Diego and Tijuana couldn't have been smaller) so we made a late sudden turn. Suddenly there were flashing lights and sirens and a cop car is tailing us pulling us over. Three cops, two of them a lot more handsome than the strippers in Extasis, walked over and start asking us questions like where we were going, where we went, if we were drinking that kind of stuff. Then they asked DC to come out of the vehicle, patted him down and took all the contents in his pockets out. One of the cuter cops came to the passenger side and I started talking to him in my limited Spanish trying to play the dumb lost tourist, hoping he'll let us go. Another cop asked me to go out of the car and did the same to me as he did DC. The searched our car and didn't find any drugs. And as he examined the documentation of the rental car, he told us that we do not have Mexican car insurance and that it is illegal and a "Big" deal. The rental car documentation did state that we will need special written permission to drive to Mexico, but we didn't know. So they say we will need to follow them to the police station and the car will need to be towed. (How can we foolow you and be towed at the same time?) Another one chimed in and say that we will need to pay a $450 dollar fine. (Dollars not Pesos?) I have heard stories about things like these so we already know what comes next and I was trying not to laugh the whole time. So he asked us to get back into our car and turn off the lights, and he'll let us off with a warning for all the money we are carrying becuase we were such nice guys. And of course, we handed it to them and there's when we realize that when they hand us back the content in our pockets, they had already taken $20 out of each of us.

Thank god before we leave for Mexico, we decided it would be safer to leave all our credit card and ATM cards in the hotel room. We only brought $80 cash each and our IDs to get back to US. I wasn't really upset about it, it would make for great stories and memories. It's practically hilarious for me. I was worried that DC would be more upset, but then he's pretty well off so this is really chump change for him. I remember one time we went to this place where we have to put our belonging into small security boxes and when we were leaving someone has mistakenly switched the content of the box and he took it as a sign... haha. Finally he got his stuff back but he was quite upset. But I guess he was ok. It is certainly a night to remember and we did have quite an adventure.

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Kiss and Tell, vol. 1

I thought it's time to sleaze it up a little bit so notice the new page elements on the right where there's an adult content disclaimer. So if you don't like to see or read adult stuff, namingly gay sex or pictures of penises. Please do both of us a favor and go browse around on other sites.

So yes folks, lately I have been a major slut. It is somewhat eyeopening of the things that are out there. Grown up men that needs attention are hanging out online and in gay bars throughout America waiting to be comforted. They evoke the earth mother in me. (or father, but we all know mothers are the one who are more nurturing) So in some sense I'm a hippie whore now, I'm on a free blow jobs campaign which is far superior than the free hugs campaign on yesterday's post. It can one day unite the world! (hopefully not through syphilis or herpes)

Time for some product placement. Tons of guys asked me about a product that I use on them, so I thought I would share it to the world: Masturbation sleeve. When you want your guy to feel good and get the hell out fast, get one and use it on him. It will eliminate a whole lot of awkward moments, so you can spend your time on computer games or whatever you like to do instead. Here's what it looks like:



You can find it in some bigger toy store or on ebay. It's a lot of fun, just add some lubricant and go to town. Or use it on your guy. Thank me later.

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Sorry, Can't Hug Ya

Teens get detention for hugging

Well hugging and kissing has never been an Asian thing, but I would never imagine that hugging would be banned. But wait, it isn't banned in Asia, but here in the middle schools within the States.

Apparently hugging and holding hands among students are not allowed anymore. One school claims this activity is disruptive and create chaos in hallways, other schools says hugging encourages inappropriate touching. "Counselors have heard from girls who are uncomfortable hugging boys but embarrassed to tell anyone. And in a culturally diverse school families might have different views of what is appropriate."

This morning while watching The Today Show, a girl got detention for hugging a friend who's family member just passed away. Shall we raise our children to be heartless, emotionless human robots? And then their children can complain that they never got enough hugs because this rule has traumatized their parents in the realm of displaying affection. "My dad never hugged me, that's why I'm a cocaine addict!" Cries the young starlet of 2037.

Meanwhile, back in the bat cave... The free hugs campaign is spreading throughout Australia, Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, UK, France, Brazil, Spain, and even Israel. "Hug a stranger", they say. "The campaign is an example of a random act of kindness, a selfless act performed by a person for the sole reason of making others feel better." What about germs? What about getting sued for sexual harassment? "I'm afriad we'll need you to sign this consent form here, here and initial here before we can give you that hug." "Can you also fill in this questionnaire about your health profile and recent sexual history too, while you're at it?"

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Door Breaker Me

I don't quite know if that happens to everyone but I used to forget my keys every so often. And before I learned to hide a key somewhere in my apartment building I used to kick my door open and feel very macho about it. This morning it has finally took its toll on the door frame. When I tried to go to work, I couldn't open my door. After a few yanks, it finally opened up, but then I wasn't able to close it. So I spent half a day waiting at home for the maintenance people to come fix it. I like staying at home playing computer games anyway, so it wasn't that bad.

I find myself flirting with a lot of guys online and somehow scheduling myself to meet them. A different guy each night of the week, this is becoming unhealthy. Am I subconsciously lonely? Or am I just an easy whore? Am I desperate to find someone to spend time with? Maybe going to San Diego would provide me some space and time to find some clarity in my life.

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Late Bloomer

Six, seven years ago two of my friends got me to a local leather bar. It 'happens' to be underwear night and people take off their shirts and pants, some just walked around in their jockstrap and sneakers. After one or two drinks for courage and with much persuasion of these friends, I too succumbed to the peer pressure and took off my shirt and jeans. An attractive muscle bear with harness and buttless chaps came over to me and my friends and grabbed on our nipples and started twisting and he wasn't fooling around, he meant to hurt. We stood there for 5 minutes, it was one of the most erotic experience I've had. I don't know why I didn't follow him home that night, but I didn't really know anything then, and I was too afraid.

I haven't been back to that leather bar for years since I had a boyfriend, I didn't think I would need to go out looking for sex and I don't like going out late at night. But now I'm single again, it gives me an excuse to go. So I went with Macho Friday night just to see what's out there. There's a rumor that the basement is the place to be, they only open it a few hours per night and people go down there to do the nasty. I've heard about it for years and in my mind I pictured it to be a maze like dungeon, like the backroom of babylon a la Queer As Folks. But I was quite disappointed to find that it was just another bar in a slightly darker atmosphere. I guess I build it up to much in my head.

During the weekend I also finally tried some pot. It didn't have any effect on me. They say a person usually has to try a few times before it takes effect. Hope I'll get the chance to know how it feels to be high.

I have never had this much sex in my life, not even in my teenage years. I guess now I know what I want and I have the means to obtain it. And somehow being single again broke me free. I feel like I'm entering another stage of my life.

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They Turned Me Into a Monster

I honestly don't know where my anger comes from, but I have a tendency to retaliate. Is it because I have father issues or because of all the TV shows I grew up with telling me that there are good guys and bad guys and the good guys always wins and I need to be a good guy?

Yesterday while reading Eliot's entry in his blog about a hate group called Westboro Baptist Church got me irate. This group lead by a crazy religious hate mongering numb nut called Fred Phelps went to a deceased gay marine's funeral and picketed, condemning the dead to hell. If I were the parents or friends of the deceased, I would have beaten them down and feel justified for doing so.

They are the reason why I associate the church with right wing psychos and the reason why so many people are tormented in the closet. After reading the post, I am tempted to acquire the address of the church and go burn it down. I reckon they have the right to free speech, but to physically go to funerals to taunt the parents of the dead or to get speaker phones to gay pride is stalker behavior and harassment... sexual harassment. There should be laws against that.

I'm tired of taking it. We should organize a group that goes to gay pride parades around the country and get microphones to picket around the picketers. Get multiple microphones around them and scream and yell back at them. Gay people are not weak, we should not have to take this and they won't learn until we fight back. They won't let us off until we show strength. And if it need to lead to violence, it would be justified. I'm tired to waiting for bad things to go away by themselves like Jerry Falwell and the Bush Administration. After Jerry Falwell died, nut jobs all over the country are still trying to remember him as a pioneer or a martyr. Fuck that. Put a stop to it now, crush them like a bug I say.

Why do they always drag their children with them? Does it make them feel better when their own children hate? How do they sleep at night? I don't have a problem in what they believe in, just don't impose their own values on me.

P.S. The perfect crime is done with components by multiple people who seemingly do not have any relations at all, which the internet provide an excellent forum for.

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Superkids?

Watching the Today show this morning another 4 year old has saved her mom by pressing the on-star button. Apparently her mom was driving her and her 2 year old baby brother and suddenly passed out. I don't know how this has become a trend, because I remember hearing a 2 year old calling 911 and saying "Momma, owie..." not long ago.

Are children more informed of what they should do during an emergency situation? Are they more capable of performing those tasks? When asked if the car were moving when the child pressed on-star for help, the mom says when she woke up, the car was miraculously parked in a parking lot. The 2 years old who called the cops sounded quite differently in real life and has too much control over her voice. Of course, being a cynic it raises a flag for me.

Given both of their mothers are very overweight and they might have serious health issues, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility that they made up the stories just for attention. It's the same mentaility as the parents who enroll their kids in children pageantry, some people just seek attention throught the wrong medium. The two year old doesn't even seem to be able to talk. And should we not focus our attention on these overweight mothers who have fainting spells while driving their children around? Should we not even consider to put them in hospitals and monitorize them? I'm not saying put their children away, but at least get them some help.

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